on men and dating

It's rather ridiculous that I would dare to comment on such things what with my failed relationships and the string of taken men who have attempted to fuck me over the last while.

First I should explain. About three years ago I was getting my hottie factor back and I was happily embarking on a new relationship and then wham I get rear ended by an SUV and my body falls apart. Like apart. Like it blowed up real good and I was rendered effectively unable to walk. Physiotherapy tried and failed to fix me and I laid on my couch smoking pot, eating and watching tv for the better part of a year. Sixty pounds and ten months later I was sent to a phenomenal Pilates teacher and she put me back together and inspired my new direction in life. [I am now a Pilates teacher as well you see...]

In my head I'm still 235 pounds of useless body and I haven't really grokked the idea that maybe just maybe I'm starting to up the hottie factor again. I'm muscular once more and down to 185 pounds [25 to go!]. In my head men are still giving me the once over and failing utterly to look back up. [You know how it is, they look from the top down but their eyes can't be bothered to make the return trip.] Except it isn't true anymore. They're actually looking at me and they actually seem to find me attractive.

That said, the only men who have made any sort of approach to me in the last year and a half have already had partners, girlfriends or wives and yet somehow I was supposed to be thrilled and excited that they wanted to boink me. Not allowed to admit that they hang out with me but boy they sure want to get me naked so I can suck their cocks. Even the woman who made a lighthearted pass at me was already spoken for. My father thinks it's a factor of age. I'm 33 so the only men after me are either teenagers or looking for their second wives... or their current mistress. I can't say much about the second wife idea since I have an ex husband of my very own [who's getting married in a month and a half ironically].

So Friday night comes around and my pal othercat and I head out to see some friends of his play at a local wing shack. There turns out to be an after party and off we go. Othercat did his famous impersonation of a puppy dog and suddenly there I am, it's seven am, i'm kinda stoned and i'm the only person in the pile who isn't drinking. Something about othercat being the designated drunk for the evening.

So this guy hits on me. Not to mention he asks me if I'm seeing anyone and when I say no he says 'right on, neither am i' and then he pauses for thought and says 'well i'm dating.' I suppose that technically this is the first available man whose made any kind of interest in me evident in the last year and a half. Tragically he only wants me because I'm Italian. Why does that matter? Yes, he's Italian and so is the rest of his family but why am I suddenly more interesting just because of my ethnic background? Granted he understands about body hair [the curse of all Italian women] but still, why is it so interesting that a girl is Italian? This is better than hot? Smart? Educated? Cool?

To his credit he also finds it terribly hot that I'm a baby drummer. This makes him ever so slightly more endearing. I wouldn't have thought twice about him what with the I'm so cool posturing and the lecturing me about Italy [a country to which I have clearly been many more times than he] except that when I got tired of listening to the Italy rant I sidetracked him and started talking spirituality and under all that posturing and attitude is an actual brain. Yeah, a brain. That's almost interesting. It was so much easier to write him off when he was just another Italian construction worker (with very nice arms ). Damm guy might be able to carry on a conversation over breakfast after all.

Except. Here's the thing. Does all that work to find out if I'm available, is clearly glad that I am and then never asks me for my number. Please tell me the freaking point of that?