harumph!

.
so now that i've thoroughly enjoyed all of the external validation i received for my hallowe'en costume I have a small rant to get off my chest.

Hallowe'en, if I recall correctly, is about dressing as something you're not for a day or an evening. Or maybe it's about dressing up as something you wish you were. Or it's about fantasy you.

Right?

So why is it that when I dress as barbarella who, although fully into sex, was a heroine and a bit of a badass that I get treated like a whore? First of all they get the guy dressed like a pimp to pose with me. But not because it's amusing that he's 5'2 and I'm 6'4 ... no because then he can pretend he's bugging me for his take.

Um what?

I'm not a whore I'm fucking barbarella. You know, Jane Fonda? The 60s? Hellooooo??

So I pointed my gun at him and looked impatient in the pic... *shrug* what else to do?

That wasn't even the most annoying part... because yeah, I've had a pvc collection for a while and I'm aware of the response that that clothing gets. What shocks me is that some of the people in this group have known me for something like two years and in that time they have *only* ever seen me in baggy jeans and tight t-shirts.

There has never been pleather or pvc.
There has definetely not been any drunken fucking or even drunken hitting on folks.
There has been no dating of anyone in this group.
NOTHING.

Well okay I was interested in a few of them over the years.

I have done nothing for two years but be respectable, show up at drum circles, play my drum and dance. I stopped dancing because some lady's husband looked at me in a way that made me feel dirty but I kept going and being polite. You know ladylike... cause yeah, I'm a lady whether I like it or not.

And then friday night one of the few coupled up men in the group who has always been kind and respectful just pissed me off like I can't even put into words. He showed up dressed as a woman (in pants which was sorta neat) and of course got a lot of attention. And since I was barbarella I got a lot of attention and so there were a LOT of pics of the two of us taken.

And he never once failed to grope me.

Not once.

Rubbed my hip suggestively. Copped a furtive feel of my butt. Leered at me. Pulled me against him hard 'for the picture' etc etc etc. And nothing would stop this guy. I tried putting people between us. I tried having my bony elbows in the way. I tried everything I could short of 'stop fucking touching me you fucking octopus' and he never got the hint.

Other men at the party? Liked my costume. Clearly enjoyed looking at it. Made jokes about my height and still treated me with respect. But that select few really spoiled my night for me.

It's hallowe'en. Be something you aren't. It doesn't give people license to grope you and treat you like a slut. It gives them license to be something they aren't in their dress... but not to change their whole manner.

*shaking head*

I just don't know you guys, I feel great that most people loved my outfit but that guy and a couple of others made me feel a little soiled. And I don't know how to respond to that OR how to handle it inside myself.

I do know that I'm mother fucking pissed off though. And that I'm done with that group.