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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Thursday, October 20, 2005


*I* am really sad right now because I've just deleted Teresa Naomi AND stoned.nerd from my blogroll since their blogs are gone. In fact I'm seriously tearing up a little here. I know that seems ridiculous because both of them are people I've never met but I grew to count on their musings, to save up moments in my day when I would read what they had written.

Because the blogverse is a fluid and wonderful thing I know that the holes they leave will eventually fill as would the hole left here if I disappeared. That doesn't make me any less sad. At least Teresa is going to continue commenting so her sparkle and wit will continue to be enjoyed. Hopefully nerd will do the same.

It brings to mind many experiences I've had on the net over the years as people have fallen into and out of my life and as I've done the same to others. I am referring mostly to IRC channels and usenet newsgroups that were the best place in the world for a while and then eventually got killed by spammers and flamers and people trolling to cause trouble.

Now the blogverse appears to be fighting a pretty successful battle against the spammers although it can't do much but ignore the trolls and the flamers. Still they don't seem as prevalent. Maybe because here they can just find their own voice and people to be asinine with and they don't need to torture others as much.

Still and all it's astonishing how fast you can get attached to people on the net. Time doesn't move the same way here as it does in real life. Real life is full of peace and silence interspersed with conversation. There are pauses and moments of reflection that take actual time. On the internet somehow that doesn't happen. It's like the safety people feel by being alone in their homes as they post their thoughts for the world to read (or ignore) allows things to move so much faster because it causes some kind of openness that doesn't happen as quickly in real life.

I've had some incredibly intense online relationships and some of them translated into real life relationships but in all cases the timeline was accelerated because of the speed of the medium. In life we are constrained by our schedules and our phones and our time to be *with* people but on the net we just aren't.

I can email you while you're working and you can email me while I'm sleeping and somehow all of that leads to a logarithmic curve of acceleration. [uh starts slow and gets steep really fast] I suspect that I will continue to have some of my most fruitful and satisfying relationships online and that I will continue to meet people the world over that I will wish lived next door.

Of course that's part of the magic too. That you can meet people from here there and everywhere who will change your life because of their differing perspectives. The net really is a global village and is, in my mind, one of the few forces for truth and good in the world today. It's hard to lie on the net and it's hard to hate the people in (say) Guam when you actually TALK with one of them every day.

Maybe I'll win the lottery and buy a little apartment building and populate it with my net friends. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Or would it? Would it steal the magic away do you think?


AND castu. three of my blogs in one day. man and i got fired from one of my jobs. today is not a nice day.


Blogger da buttah said...

a net apartment building?

i think there's a level of disappointment that goes with meeting someone from the net

just my experience though :)

10/20/2005 01:20:00 PM  
Blogger da buttah said...

ps: what's with the asterix by my blog name?

10/20/2005 01:21:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

it's a blogrolling thing... it checks for updates and if you've updated or gotten commented in the last 6 hours the stars show up... nice way not to have to troll all the blogs i read for updates...

mouse hover over the ones with stars and it tells you WHEN they updated too.

i've been disappointed sometimes and not others... depends on how real the person is on the net in my experience...

10/20/2005 01:23:00 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

aw, sass, don't be sad. what am i talking about, i was teary when i hit the 'delete' button.

and i'm positive that the sadness was due to the fact that, just like you said, the hole will be filled. the spot i left will be consumed by another person ready to share their heart with the blogosphere. it's almost like the deleting of a blog equates the shutting of a door to a person's soul. that's kind of how i felt about mine -- like i was closing the door of my life to others. which i think is certainly selfish, but sometimes necessary.

people grow such bonds due to the net. it's a way to relax, to open up, to connect to people you would probably have never met in life. and if things go well, sometimes you get to connect on a real level, too. it broadens a person's social horizons because it is only for talking. you can't sit and just exist on the net. you have to have something to say to be a presence. and it's invigorating, and at least one person will feel a tie to what you've said.

it's kind of amazing, really. but i live for human interaction. :)

10/20/2005 01:23:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

aw teresa of course i'm sad. i lost a link in my blogverse so part of the crazy flow chart of blogness is gone now...

yes the hole will be filled but there will always be a little seam or a little scar where you aren't because those of us who were interlinked with you miss you for a long time.

i love the way bonds grow on the internet, so personal and yet so able to see things clearly because you aren't actually *in* each other's lives.

i remember in group therapy that the only useful thing I got from it was this sense that i wasn't the only one who felt that way... and then i wasn't alone and then it was all going to be okay....

life is about interaction... if not what's it for?

10/20/2005 03:46:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...

I think as bloggers folks evolve. Like "real" people, your in the flesh friends (no, not in THE flesh but live) go through moods that cause them to change. Someone might decide that they're revealing too much or they'll look at what they wrong and will say "crap, that so isn't me" then nuke.

Mine is gone for now due to a lifestyle change. Was sitting at a friend's house talking about how life was going (lots of chianti will do that to you) when she revealed that she had read my blog. I wrote something in it that referred to her and after a long chat I decided to delete the thing and start over. If I'm not using it as a diary then I have no idea what to use it for.

Keep yours up, Sass, it's a joy to read.

We have some leaf color now, it's lovely in parts.

Be good hon! :)

10/20/2005 08:40:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...


A TRUE net appt building would be all basement, since true net nerds never get outside. ;)

10/20/2005 08:41:00 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

damn it all when the shoes drop.

never fear; I'm too egotistical to delete my blog. In fact, I now have TWO blogs! And, believe it or not, I'm thinking of adding a third. Diatribe is good for daily stuff and discussion; Dzerotica is great for port ... I just need something solely for poetry.



and I'm down for the apartment concept. but I don't want a walkup. And must take dogs (eventually).

Do I need Canadian citizenship?

10/21/2005 05:16:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

well how about a walkup and you can have the first floor place in the back?

well i think if i win the lottery i can buy y'all canadian citizenship?


cast: *snicker* point

let me know when you start another blog... and know i'll miss yours

10/21/2005 07:32:00 AM  
Blogger Noreen said...

it's amazing how the net aids in giving you the opportunity in meeting awesome,verbose yet opinionated people.

Great minds discuss ideas.Average minds discuss events.Simple minds discuss people =)

'Non-flammatory'(is there even such a word??)bloggers clearly belong to the first one.

10/21/2005 09:42:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

non-flammatory... hrm... flame retardant? flame resistant? uh...? i think non-flammatory is it :)

i love the net for that, finally i can find a pile of people as opinionated as I am AND who enjoy a good discussion... how awesome is that?

i must be great crossed with simple because i love discussing ideas and people *grin*

10/21/2005 10:52:00 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

discussion rocks.

just sayin'

10/21/2005 11:02:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

I wonder if I am ever gonna go. One never knows. I guess if peopole stop reading I might stop writing and keep my musings to myself.


10/21/2005 11:19:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

nat: i wonder if it's like a journal is for me... something i use when i need it and let go as i heal up and head on...

or it's like tv and i use it to relax...

i never know how something will be for me until i've been doing it for a year but i do know that if i don't get comments it's hard to keep posting.

10/21/2005 11:21:00 AM  
Blogger da buttah said...

eww about the job

i'll hire you to sit and look pretty on my couch :)

10/21/2005 11:42:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

yeah and americans seem to find me hot so maybe i can even find someone to boink *grin*

i still have all my other work, i'm just sad cause this was a twice a week well paying class...

the truth is though that i'm also a little relieved so the fit clearly wasn't right...


10/21/2005 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger castufari said...

What happened to the class? Why did they can you?

10/21/2005 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Sass- so then you have some spare time to cross the border and smoke a bowl.

Sorry to hear about your job loss, let's wallow in self-pity together.

Even if you don't feel pitiful, I could sure use it.

10/21/2005 01:02:00 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Oh, and put me down for a room with a view... and lots of scented candles.

10/21/2005 01:03:00 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

further... the blog rolling thing isn't working. I just updated, no stars... FYI

10/21/2005 01:04:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

yeah em i went to the site and it's down so since i'm still getting my listing i figured i'd ignore it for a day or so

if the blog list disappears blogrolling disappears too... :)

10/21/2005 01:45:00 PM  
Blogger SignGurl said...

Sass, you read my mind with this post. I have wanted to write something like this.

The net makes the world a much smaller place. Who would think that a girl from Michigan would be able to chat with someone from Canada or Guam (hey D)?

But, net friends move in and out of our lives just like real life friends. :-(

10/21/2005 05:49:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

hey sign gurl welcome to the fray!

where in michigan are you from? I've only done the parts along major highways so you'll have to clue me in if it's teeny... (oh and a REALLY nice beach at exit one)

that's my favourite thing about the net. I have friends in texas, sweden, north carolina, massachusettes, wisconsin, singapore, california, all over canada, australia, guam and so on just because of my presence on the internet for the last uh... 13? 12? 14? years. Several of them read this blog and met me in other media over the years and others met me through this blog and still others met me through other people I knew online. I *love* that because i can't think of a more useful way to broaden your mind.

and you're right... in fact net friends seem to move in and out with more ease somehow... although the holes they leave are no smaller... it's just somehow easier to leave a net home than a real one. (says the woman whose left entire lives behind when she upped and moved places...)

10/22/2005 12:18:00 AM  
Blogger SignGurl said...

I'm from Lansing the butt crack capital of the state.

Yes we do have beautiful beaches here and I love to visit them even in the winter!

I've been enjoying your blog, blog on babe!

10/23/2005 08:31:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

hey signgurl

i've done the drive through detroit on the way to florida, through detroit on the way to chicago and from chicago up to said beach on exit one and into grand rapids and from there to port huron.

So far the third drive was my favourite and my far the most beautiful (disregarding the flint area...)

i'm glad for the feedback thanks!

10/23/2005 11:12:00 AM  

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