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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

gag me with a spoon

.
or long distance love.

The girl across the hall (yes fellow red deathers, it is the youngest member of our party to whom I refer) fell fully and madly for a girl in north carolina a little while ago.

They emailed. They instant messaged. One of them broke up with her then girlfriend. There were photos. There were dirty photos and there were lots and lots of phone calls. And even more dirty phone calls!

It was particularly funny when camping to watch la belle T jones for her girlfriend that she hadn't even met yet. T was threatening to walk into town or at least to the nearest store to make phone calls. Extra funny because one wrong turn and her walk would have gone from an hour to days and days and days. I was tempted but then I would have had to drive around for hours looking for the lost girl having the nic fit.

So, fairly quickly T was buying a plane ticket and M was packing. And right then I remembered how easy it is to be that young. I couldn't do what they're doing... it's not possible. To just chuck my life and move somewhere on a moment's notice?

But I owe the vet money!
and the mechanic!
and the cats? what to do with the cats? (hi sis!)
and the car? (hi parents barn!)
and all the classes and clients I have?
and lordy lordy I have a lot of crap!
and and and...

and that's it, they're both 23 or so and have nothing holding them anywhere. It's kind of the difference really because when I was 23 I *did* chuck it all and move on a moment's notice.

Repeatedly.

It's not that I wouldn't chuck it all and move, there are things that would inspire me to do that in a second, but I would have to take time to wrap up the threads of my life, I wouldn't be able to just go.

Hell, M doesn't even expect to go home! She has to due to some sort of customs crap but otherwise she would probably just stay.

Now let us not even begin to mention the staggering odds of meeting someone from north carolina on a matchmaking website AND having them make your toes curl when they kiss you... cause yeah, so less than likely.

But they're fully wrapped around each other and fully engaging in ridiculous amounts of PDA. Which does, I admit, make me really happy for T but at the same time?

Dude seriously, gag me with a spoon! [shut up, I know I'm jealous, what's your point?]

Regardless, they are just so cutesy that it's actually hard to be in the same room with them for more than a few minutes. Still totally happy for them and hope it stays this way but don't really want to hang out :)

I'm just staggered. I was so sure they would meet and be like 'uh yeah... no' and wonder what the fuss was about and instead they're showing off their hickies! (which yeah, not something I really want to think about too deeply)

Anyway I'm enjoying speculating on the odds and also sad when I think that M is being sent home in a month. I hope they figure something out. I confess I can't imagine how they're hanging out with the two of them AND t's dad in a bachelor the size of my bedroom but it seems to be working.

Ahh young love *grin*
.

This was a comment I made on Natalia's blog about this post. Do read the rest of the comments as they're awesome and please go read the post right now. No, right now. Anyway, I liked this mini rant enought to post it here:

From the day we were born my parents had no truck with whining. If we got cranky my mother checked if we were wet, cold, hot, tired, hungry and if it was none of those she ignored us. You know what? We didn't whine and from the day I was about 3 I was a polite little child in restaurants.

BUT (and this is important) my parents paid attention to me. They thought I was interesting. They tried hard to amuse me while I waited for my food [this is as easy as crayons or pens and paper]. They did NOT ignore me. They did not shush me when I spoke in favour of the 'adult conversation' and they most certainly would not put up with acting up. Acting up got you taken home with no dinner. They also did not let a television babysit me.

Now I respect your right to bring your kid to the movies but why can't you bring them to the shows for toddlers? Why can't you bring them on mommy and me screening days? If you bring them to a movie that is suggested adult accompaniment and they're five you're a moron.

As for museums, if you're dragging a 4 year old to the moma you're addled if you think they give a shit. If you bring them to the science centre then they can play and learn stuff... and as long as you don't let them get overtired or hungry they'll probably behave.

As for tolerance. I am exceedingly tolerant of children and I've nannied several of them for seriously extended periods of time and you know what? I'm still firmly intolerant of parents who ignore their children and then freak out when they misbehave. If you don't think that kids are fascinating you may wish to reconsider having them. And if your kid is LOSING it in a movie theatre or a museum the CONSIDERATE thing to do is exit the space that has several hundred other folks in it trying to enjoy something.

As an example, lynette on desperate housewives got EXACTLY the kids she raised... [end comment on natalia's blog] she never once talks to her children like they're people, she never tries to find out why they're upset and when they act out she either rewards the behaviour or starts taking their ridalin. Like seriously.

What baffles me is that this has become acceptable behavious among parents. the helpless look and the 'it's the kids' excuse. You're the parent, act like it.

*end rant*

gotta sleep teaching in the am! [yes i really did publish this 30 minutes in the future :)]

12 Comments:

Blogger DZER said...

*hands you spoon*

I think most 23-year-olds irritate me ... but then again, that was true even when I was 23.

I also can't fathom just upping and moving. I hate packing. I hate traveling.

But then again, my goal for next year is to minimize. To get rid of or sel the things I don't use or need. To divest myself of the extraneous and focos on the ... neous?

I just realized that this will take oodle of space, so I'm off to blog it on my site! LOL

and rant on, sassy one ;)

10/12/2005 02:26:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

nice!

i inspired a blog entry!

:)

i liked them when i was their age i think but even then i hung out with people out of my age group. still do really

i was ranting? :)

10/12/2005 06:05:00 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

you ended rant. I was just using your terminology ;)

10/12/2005 09:04:00 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

So, 23 year olds in love *gag*. I am seriously happy for anyone in love, it's the sticky-sweetness of it that irritates me.

I have been a third wheel in a romance just like the one you spoke of... I eventually had to say - "cha people, seriously...get a room and call me when you're fighting."

Natalia's post is a good one. There are so many other wonderful things we can sink into the minds of our children. I try my best at all times to keep them well-rounded and out of movie theatres where it doesn't truly state 'child showing.' Thankfully, in this area we have theatres that have "toddler hours" for G rated shows.. so there's no issues with the kids really enjoying themselves, and the adults too.

10/12/2005 10:14:00 AM  
Blogger Blondie said...

1) i hate PDA. no seriously, i can't even do it. i struggle with holding hands. but, um, go young lovers!

2) i wholeheartedly agree with the child sentiment. i could go on and on and on about it, but i won't, because i already have enough typing to do today. but, yes. there's a way to control your children without treating them or the people around you like shit -- and this seems to have flown right out the proverbial window of most parents today!

10/12/2005 11:13:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

dzer: i sorta dislike moving out, i love moving in. Also travelling I could do forfuckingever.

bubbles: yeah that's it exactly. i'm happy for them i really am but yeesh get a room and call me in a month! I really enjoyed nat's post, it's why i linked it and stole my comment from it. I thought it worth discussing some more.

we have toddler day at the movies also, and frankly if your ten year old is acting up that's a WHOLE other problem... and can likely be traced back a ways :)

treesa: i can hold hands, and i can do like pecking on the lips but anything past that i either have to be in a dark park or a room or whatever....

i really think there should be some sort of parenting class in school that's required. Otherwise who teaches parents communication and conflict resolution? Lynette or Bree on desperate housewives?!?!??

10/12/2005 11:48:00 AM  
Blogger stoned.nerd said...

you cant just pack it up and go... you've got this blog to tend to!!!

anyway, youth obscures harsh reality. i'm young and i know.

10/12/2005 02:44:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...

Don't diss nc yet, at least until I manage to move, then it's open fucking season.

On the kid thing, that is so dead on. I've seen people take kids to PG movies, kids that were 4 or 5. Was at a major league baseball game and someone had an INFANT there. Not exactly quiet.

I keep crayons/paper/etc in the car to help occupy my kid since she isn't going to sit still for hours. No sibling to beat up (or on) and books get up. We talk as much as we can but I always having something at the ready to occupy her. Not for me, but for others around me - since not everyone loves kids.

If we travel then she gets to have some say so in the music and gets the option of watching a movie. I had someone (her teacher) tell me that this was WRONG, I could keep a dialogue going with her. Ok, what do you talk to a 6.5yo girl about for 7 hours? "Icky boys" lasts 15 minutes. School? 30. Books? 30.

If she starts to meltdown - either at home or elsewhere - then something is wrong. She could be stressed or hungry. Hungry is the hard one, I've asked her a zillion times if she needs a snack, she'll say no. I'll open something up then say "oh, this is good", which will trigger her interest. Food in tummy, problem solved. I ask what's wrong but I don't push the issue. It's easy to pull over or leave the scene to go to someplace quiet.

PDA?

10/12/2005 04:09:00 PM  
Blogger Daywalker said...

Get a room I say!

I guess a bit is ok but not infront of me as the third wheel that just gets annoying and makes me want to get a hose out...

Which one is Lynette? Eva Longoria?

I have yet to see that show... Teri Hatcher is a sweetie. :)

Sass: my beta Firefox doesn't like intalling the google toolbar - how am I supposed to look at porn now???

...errr...not that I need to or anything....*cry*

GRRR!:P

Claudio

10/12/2005 04:31:00 PM  
Blogger ioio said...

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10/12/2005 04:48:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...

ioio, wasn't that your mother I saw on the cover of Crack Whore magazine last month?

10/12/2005 05:24:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

nerd: i've tended to this blog in all sorts of places and will continue to do so never fear! :)

nerd you're right about that too, it's easy to let things go when you're young, you don't yet know how important/fragile/rare/whatever they are.

cast: i didn't diss nc, i dissed internet dating that actually works... and really i just dissed the public displays of affection [pda!]

as for your kid, you're clearly a good dad, it shows in every word you speak about that little angel you took bouldering the other week! I love that pic of you too btw. That's just it, if a kid is melting down there's a REASON!

daywalker: felicity huffman is lynette. terrible mom with no respect for her kids or anyone else adn has a sense of entitlement bigger than my ass used to be.

um sorry i broke your firefox, you can uninstall it from add/remove programs in the control panel and then install the old one. OR i'll do it next time i'm over.

castu: now i can't delete the spam! :)

10/12/2005 06:11:00 PM  

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