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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Friday, June 09, 2006

misspent youth

.
some really hard to comprehend things have been coming at me lately. hugely mixed messages so to speak.

one of my clients thinks that the things that i say in my blog render me unprofessional and that as such no medical professional would refer me clients. i find that really hard to imagine so i'm throwing it out there to my long term readers.

are there things that i regularly or occasionally discuss in my blog that would cause you to think 'hrm no, i don't think i should send her people, she's not professional?'

i'm especially asking those of you who HAVE had trouble because of their blogs and those who have read more than one post.

she was talking specifically about my occasional mention of my own health troubles and/or marijuana use. too much information or some such.

don't get me wrong, i can see her point, but i'm curious what the general perception is. and as to whether i should make my blog more secret...

on a related but totally different note here is a paraphrasing of an actual conversation i had with someone we'll call w for reasons known only to me.
s: yeah i've been in a lot of accidents
w: i'm not surprised with the way you drive
s: the way *i* drive???
w: well yes
s: so you're telling me i'm a bad driver?
w: no i'm not saying that at all
s: but you're saying that you expect me to get in accidents?
w: no, no i'm not.
s: but you just said you aren't suprised that i get in accidents, thus you are clearly *expecting* me to get in one.
w: that's not what i'm saying
s: yes it is, and if that's what you think why do you ever get in a car with me
w: i'm just saying i'm not surprised you've had a lot of accidents
s: so why enter a car with me if you're expecting me to get in an accident?
w: that's not what i said
s: yes it IS, that's a logical fallacy.
w: etc.

the thing here is?

if you truly think i'm an unsafe driver there are two things that are then immediately obvious. the first is that you would NOT enter a car with me. the second is that you would actually tell me you think i'm dangerous and why. thus i could educate myself right?

but no, i'm expected to get in accidents but i'm a good driver but i'm not expected to get in accidents but accidents are unsurprising with the way you drive.

um what?

seriously i cannot comprehend that conversation. so, if you've been in a car with me? am i dangerous? do you expect me to get hit? is there something i do that's particularly unaware and risky?

if you haven't been in a car with me? what do you think anyway? :)
.

okay so i better decide soon if i'm going to pilates on tour in seattle. the ticket has gone up like eighty bucks since i looked last week. i'm sure i can still get a decent deal but decision time is now.

really it all comes down to location, the conference is being held here:

The Westin Bellevue
600 Bellevue Way NE
Bellevue, Washington 98004

and i frankly have no idea where that is or how it relates to anyone i know in seattle. so anyone in the pacific northeast... and by east i mean west do y'all either have floorspace near there OR a recommendation of a hotel nearby that's 80 bucks instead of a hundred and fifty bones per night?

since i have to stay four nights i'd really rather find some valumotel or whatever that's not too far from the bellevue. cause with a special rate of a hundred and fifty clams a night it's too rich for my blood.

please? (i'm happy to take transit or rent a car if need be but i can't really be more than an hour from somewhere i have to be at 8am... although that will be 11am for me which makes things slightly easier.)
.

i've had to make an appointment with the physio again because my little pulled ligament in my spine isn't getting better. funny though because the body around it is getting happier and happier at an almost visible rate.

i can do things after last weekend that i couldn't do a WEEK ago!

i mean my TEACHER was IMPRESSED!

yeah dudes, i wasn't kidding when i said i had a new body after the weekend... and i know that i was right because rr sees it too.
.

so about blogger... do you guys want to stage a mass move?
.

so i went to see ministry and the revolting cocks and pb/dc (pitbull daycare). i shouldn't have gone.

ministry is old now and it's almost a tiny bit sad watching these men who have to be at least forty dancing around to industrial metal. it's actually not as sad as the rolling stones but still. not happy.

the weird thing is that i'm still perfectly happy i went.

they played nwo and thieves and liars and a couple of other old tunes and i got to be wearing a pink camouflage shirt and get looked at funny by all the people who were wearing the ministry uniform (black on black on black).

i think pink camouflage is ironic.

anyway, i did, of course, manage to pick up the only gay guy there *snerk*

weird part? the bands were good in reverse order.

so the headliner sort of sucked and the second billing act (rev-co) wasn't bad and the first band had me dancing along.

yeah, i didn't see that coming either.

i'm glad i went, it was nice to revisit my youth, but it was even nicer to get home and be the middle aged woman i am.

my poor ears y'all... they were ringing so much i had to turn on a fan to drown them out!

:)

35 Comments:

Blogger factory_peasant said...

motel 6, babe. you can generally find one of those pretty easy and rates are far below a hundred a nite.

as far as your writing about your job mixed in with personal info, i could see some people might be put off but not to the point of avoiding client referrals. as you know i've been writing about my employer for a long time now. but, in my case i've delibrately kept identifying specifics out of the blog. that is really important to keep constant so i avoid any bullshit because of my writing. that is something i have to constantly remind myself of so i don't slip up. after nearly two years i still haven't had any adverse reprocussions. yeah!

be freaky.

6/09/2006 01:54:00 PM  
Blogger Matt Vella said...

Personally, I think that while I see a certain point to what this person was saying re: blog vs work...

...I think it's really none of her business and no it won't affect referrals unless she makes a point of sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. Go with your gut in what you say here, and don't let some nay sayer make you second guess yourself.

6/09/2006 02:21:00 PM  
Blogger Natalia said...

I am kinda attached to blogger...so yeah...but if it keep messing up...who knows?

Also, this goes back to that post I had up about my full name being on my blog and whether that might cause problems in the future. People make all sorts of assumptions about what you are able to do boased on the labels they attribute to you based on your rants. And it's unfair. Just because I feel like bitching one day, it doesn't mean I am Bitchy McBitcherson all the time. I don't think I would think of you as anything but an amazing teacher. You are clearly into what you do and are good at it.

W needs a brain check on the train of thought. If this person is not surprised that you have been in accidents then it should follow s/he should never want to ride with you.

What s/he was doing was backpedaling after saying too much.

-N

6/09/2006 04:01:00 PM  
Blogger Read This said...

Like it or not, the world is pretty big on perceptions. If I were you, I would probably continue to publish, under an assumed name, without a pic. You still get a release, your friends and internet pals get to hear from you, and clients and potential clients are all happy. Just a thought. I will be shutting mine down next year, and taking my own advice, as my oldest son...with the same name...will be looking at colleges, and I don't want a potential college choice to be not available to him because we have the same name and there could be some confusion. So, in this instance I am actually taking my own advice.

6/09/2006 04:39:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

peasant: yeah i'm looking into the motel 6 thingy but i don't know crap about seattle so i'm hoping for a local's opinion. not all cheap motels are created equal right?

i've been googling and the cheapest i've seen is 72 bucks so far...

i can't see what i write about that's offensive. i mean sure i smoke pot, but it's canada and so do lots of people. she thinks this will be devastating to my career in the long run.

i believe that i've done a good job not identifying anyone but myself and my friends that are bloggers. i think.

do you think?


matt: i do too don't get me wrong. there's a definite amount of truth to what she's saying. i'm just not sure i want to work with people who would find me untrustworthy based on this blog. i mean they'll find out this stuff anyway right?

i'm very torn.

i searched for (think user@host.net) user host in google and my blog was the first thing that came up... that was surprising

i do love my gut.


nat: yeah i love blogger too... but this is getting out of hand.

this is the very same dilemma you are correct. it's just most of my rants are pretty damm sane. like i think i would like me more if i read my blog. well of course i think that.

thank you nat, i appreciate that from a fellow teacher.

thank you, that was my interpretation also.

6/09/2006 04:41:00 PM  
Blogger factory_peasant said...

to asnwer your question sass, i'm not sure if you have done a good job on not identifying individuals. if i remember right you got caught once or twice writing about friends and it bugged them. or maybe you were afraid of getting caught. i confuse easily.

my policies about blogging are, use aliases for just about everyone i'm going to write about, aliases for businesses that will be mentioned, no specifics concerning locations or departments, and as a general rule i don't write about close friends unless it's something positive or amusing. things just work better that way.

anyhoo keep on yappin. i dig it.

6/09/2006 05:11:00 PM  
Blogger factory_peasant said...

god damn i love typos.

6/09/2006 05:12:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

okay... i don't smoke pot myself... and as you know, i was sent to pilates by a doctor because of an injury... and if i were referred to you? i'd be thrilled.

in fact, my very first pilates instructor and i went out and had cocktails together a few times!

see, when you write about you work, you write with such passion for it, for learning, and for helping people that i would want you as my teacher.

then again, i'm not particularly judgmental about anyone's personal life (except perhaps the hypocrites among the religious right, but that's another story altogether).

i can see why you'd be a little concerned, maybe... but i honestly can't imagine anything you've written being "disastrous" for your career.

plus... it's bodywork. it's not a traditional, uptight, suits-and-pantyhose occupation to begin with.

6/09/2006 11:23:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

cas: i've decided to make some relatively simple changes and use firstname.lastname@gmail.com and be done with it. this way i'm totally out in the open and yet searching doesn't bring up my blog.

i think you're right frankly. and it's why my friend's advice hit me so hard. although i don't feel i've done anything particularly 'wrong' i still like the idea of separation of church and state. so to speak.


peasant: i got outed once when i said something very much like: "recently i discoverd that someone i thought was a potential friend was actually kind of an ass and all about themeselves' and they emailed me and asked if it was them. since then i've been significantly more careful.

even then, no one but him knew who i was referring to.

i use your chosen alias or i make one up for you.

i'm for sure going to keep yapping, i'm just going to separate more.

yeah i love typos too *g*


mute: i don't mind if my clients visit my blog, but then i don't talk about them and when i do i tell them about it.

if i think a client is an ass i would never post it here.

i think if i just change my professional email address to something without sassinak in the name of it that that will work out.

ahhh jesus built my hotrod... the good old days.

6/09/2006 11:45:00 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

I don't get it. If she doesn't appreciate what she reads here, tell her not to read it. I don't think it should be a required reading for your clients, it's not like you use your real name or anything. People, what nerve. It's up to you babe, I'm following you where ever you go.

6/10/2006 12:47:00 AM  
Blogger Matt Vella said...

Yeah, what Kathi said!

6/10/2006 01:45:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry: wow thank you. i consider that an enormous compliment considering where you were taught and by whom.

really?? that's awesome!

it's funny, i thought it might be boring how excited i am about the talus sliding over the calcaneus as you walk and whatever... like anatomy isn't fascinating to most folks :)

oh please don't get me started on the hypocrites!

i think that changing my work email address to something without the word sassinak in it is key... but otherwise? yeah my blog stays.

heh... we're all fucking nuts in this biz...

gotta go to class, i'll get the rest of these in a couple of hours.

6/10/2006 11:08:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

kathi: it's not that, she thinks that if a doctor or physiotherapist read my blog that they would then decide not to refer me clients because of some of the things that i discuss here.

i don't think that she personally cares one way or the other except as concern for my future.


matt: hee!


deb: i hate when i do that, drives me a little nutters.

ah well see you when you get back :)

6/10/2006 01:39:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

sass, i think it's really cool that you're so fascinated by the talus sliding over the.. wha???

whatever it was you said.

i think it's great when anyone's passionate about what they do. and when it's a teacher, the students benefit in a big way.

i see the points that others are making about professionalism, but i just don't see that you've said anything here that might be construed as unprofessional.

but yeah... changing the professinal email address isn't such a bad idea. err on the side of caution, i guess?

6/10/2006 09:07:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

uh.. i mean... PROFESSIONAL.

6/10/2006 09:07:00 PM  
Blogger da buttah said...

just a random question:

what doctor or potential future client would seriously be reading your blog prior to knowing you?

6/11/2006 11:21:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

hey grainne, how you been?

that is exactly what my friend was trying to say to me. and is why i am taking it seriously and considering simple changes to make that will render my blog a little harder to find if you have my email address.

currently it's dead simple.

it's that very consideration that shook me when she sent me an email about it. it's not that i think that i say anything particularly damaging or untoward but i would hate to lose someone i can help because they find out i like to say fuck a lot. or whatever.

IF they find me after i change my professional email address to first.lastname@gmail.com (okay fine at the domain of my studio but that's not copyrighted yet...) then the word sassinak will be separate from work.

that's crucial i think. it hadn't occured to me at all, i like the things i say here. that said, i don't want to change my blog, and i really think that if sassinak becomes separate to my clients from pilates that then noone will find me, and if they do then frankly they're looking for a reason to dislike me awfully hard.

if it was about the money i would still be working in computers *grin*

old fart it's your opinion that matters on stuff like this. personally i think she's overdoing the voice of doom a little but it's definetely got me thinking and considering what i should do. enough so that i'm changing my professional email address right?

and i'm glad you like my blog!

6/11/2006 01:34:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry: calcaneus... basically the bone of the heel. basically. the talus slides forward and back along it during walking.

man i'm a nerd.

okay i do too, when i see these people teaching by rote i get so mad, i mean seriously don't you consider at all that you have a voice that people take seriously? you OWE it to your students to care adn if you don't it's time to do something else.

without passion for learning what hubris to think you can teach...

i like to think that anyone who reads my blog would like me more, i like to think that i present a sincere and likeable face to the world... but i can't control people's responses to what i say or which post they read. i mean if you only ever read the one about how i went to a music festival and was drunk all weekend? why would you trust me with your body?

caution yeah... damm and i just printed cards!

yay for typos!


elle: i think it's more that if an existing client found and was offended by my blog they might take it back to the referring physician or physiotherapist...

but yeah there's that. still when i open my studio i should have caution well in advance i guess.

personally i find the whole idea tiresome.

6/11/2006 01:39:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

caution sucks sometimes... that's for damn sure...

6/11/2006 03:40:00 PM  
Blogger Madame X said...

I had trouble with being exposed and deleted. The funny thing is when the head of the company, to whom the URL was email to, found out I deleted she was upset because she felt that the trash that invaded my privacy and notified her and the reast of the board of my blog had won.
She told be that what I do in my private time is my own business and none of hers.

I wonder if she would have said that had she read my blog?

6/11/2006 04:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Toronto is a very provincial town. there may be millions of people here, but the people who actually have the $$ and the people who make things happen are not the sort of people who tolerate eccentricity. (like Ken Thomson, they may be pervertedly eccentric but that doesn't mean others can be also.) the biggest and most important goal of a majority of the citizenry is to buy a house or condo, plan their vacations 6 months in advance and boast about their love of going on cruises. individualism is not on the agenda. there is no reward to being 'weird' or 'passionate'. believe it or not, these two words can be used interchangably. now, this is not to say robotism is 'it'. just that the degree of individualism tolerated is not all that great.

this is why talent moves to New York or LA. or just about anywhere else that's cosmopolitan.

Toronto is designed to be a nose to the grindstone sort of place. it's a Protestant city. there aren't many places a human being can sit and rest without also having to purchase something. i mean, please, you don't want benches around where lazy bums, homeless people, drunken indians and loose women of loose morals can park their butts, do you? keep walking, losers. that's the tone of this town. it's maybe not so obvious to those who ride around in cars, but just try walking for a change and you'll discover things you never even considered before. (ref: the sociology of walking)

my first day at the professional faculty at UofT we got a video lecture from the dean. (he was too busy to appear in the flesh.) he informed us that any square pegs trying to fit into round holes will not be tolerated. (welcome to you too asshole. which is what we all thought. i mean, someone says that to a classroom full of people and every single person wonders if in fact they are a square peg trying to cram themselves into a round hole.) he made good on the promise. or at least he did his damned best. some oddballs are not that easy to eliminate or intimidate.

it is rather unfortunate that to be taken seriously in this town a person needs to have near total facial muscle atrophy and personality non-existence. homegrown professionals are just like that. 'cover your assism' is the code of conduct. foreigners who somehow wash up on these shores can be a lot more interesting. and hopefully the other foreigners who have also washed up on shore will provide them with much needed income through services rendered.

the concept of multiculturalism is just that: a concept. in practice it doesn't always work too well. when you mix extremely conservative males from patriarchal religious backgrounds with women who are not shy about expressing their ideas and emotions, it is not a good mix. someone invariably gets the short end of the stick and that's the person with less clout in the relationship. so perhaps cultivating professional relationships should be more of a considered activity. remember that professional schools, professional associations, hospitals and specialty training programmes tend to weed out the eccentrics. that doctor portrayed by Robin Williams in the movie Patch Adams is noteworthy and film worthy precisely because he is so unique and unusual. if a significant percentage of healthcare professionals would be 'Patch Adams'es there would be nothing to make a movie about.

Kathi: stuff it. i've been around this freaking town long enough to know what i'm on about.

and the rest of you guys who think perhaps it's a good idea for Sass to modify, thanks. she's a really good teacher and she knows her stuff. i don't want her career sidelined because of things that can be interpreted as a lack of judgement by people who could be providing her with a good income and standard of living.

6/11/2006 04:58:00 PM  
Blogger othercat said...

It's a personal blog. I've never been offended by it, even though Sass talks about her life in excruciating detail sometimes. A lot of times I get mentioned, and I'm not worried. I use my deceased cat's name for an alias, and if people want to guess who Othercat is, they can knock themselves out. Rather than struggling with the content of the blog, it's probably to Sass' advantage to just not bother mentioning her online excesses to her professionial contacts. I don't really want my customers reading my blog, even though it's usually nowhere near as revealing. Real and virtual friends can be kept separate quite easily and perhaps that's the way it works best. As far as I know, there are only three or four people who read my blog who have met me in person. I don't think I've got anything to worry about as long as I don't say anything too rude. At the end of the day, we should all just take a deep breath and stop worrying about things that get said and written. If I do get offended, sometimes I figure I'm the one who has overreacted, and maybe I should reread the passage to make sure I'm not too thin-skinned.

6/11/2006 06:09:00 PM  
Blogger Brea said...

My rule is: I don't put anything on my blog I wouldn't want anyone in my "real life" to know. If you have no problem with everyone reading what is on your blog, I see no need for anonymity

6/11/2006 11:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes change your professional email address. Get new cards printed. Check with google to make sure your work life and blog can't be connected.

Its better to err on the side of caution. You can always reveal more as you get to know someone. But its not so easy to take back whats been revealed before someone has gotten to know you.

6/12/2006 01:24:00 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

I had to delete my blog because of people judging me but I see nothing wrong with what you write.....I would send clients to you without even second guessing it

sorry I'm late to this topic....

6/12/2006 07:42:00 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I've never seen/had a problem with anything you post here :)

And there's so many comments that would reiterate exactly what I was going to say but... I guess I would be more pro-active to not advertise my blog. But if people stumble across it, then not my problem!!!

I'm more interested in your trip to class in Seattle.... We should be focusing on that... HAHAHA

no seriously. :)

If it's in Bellevue then you're screwed but like Factory Peasant said, there's always a Motel 6. Let me see what I can find by way of the information given here... and your previous posts and I will let you know right away...

unless you've already found something. I'm sorry, I was on hiatus for a few days so let me know if there was a tremendous update :)

6/12/2006 11:12:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

hi you guys

i'm around, i'm reading the comments and loving every one of them. i think that as long as i establish minimal separation i'll be okay.

i will answer each and every one of you as soon as i actually have half an hour off... (seriously it's been a nutty few days)

but thank you, all of your advice has been excellent and i think i've found the balance in it.

and to my friend who wrote me the initial email? never for a second think that i didn't appreciate it. because i did.

6/12/2006 01:00:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry: that it sucks doesn't make it wrong right?


madame: yeah i was hoping especially to hear from you, you at least have personal experience of this kind of thing.

that said? i have enormous respect for your boss and i don't think she would change her stance regardless. that would be choosy censorship and she doesn't sound the type.

THAT said, your more secretive nature is probably better regardless...


gabi: you raise a very good point about the provincial nature of toronto and how easy it is to get pigeonholed. it's easy in my crazy business to start thinking that everyone is nuts, but that is not so.

certainly many of my fellow bodyworkers are nuts but that says nothing about the rest of society at large.

it's tragic that weird and passionate are now the same thing. tragic but true. and i confess, i hear the call of LA and london and new york... places where i'm boringly normal. but also one of a large crowd.

i've noticed that very thing about walking. funnily it was brought to my attention by skateboarders. it used to be that at night the heart of the business district was filled with young people skateboarding and being 'cool' but more and more people are putting guards on their rails and steps to make it impossible. so now business district downtown is deserted and a very scary place to be a lone woman at night.

thank you for telling me about that lecture. do you think that that's changed in the years since or gotten stronger? i hadn't considered that about the professional schools and it's an EXCELLENT point.

please let's not tell each other to stuff it, i try to make this a place anyone's opinion is welcomed. also please don't think for a second that i don't take your point to heart. that said, i'm making my professional address less personal and thus eliminating the connection to here. here isn't moving.

and thank for caring okay?

6/12/2006 05:10:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

othercat: excruciating detail... thanks *g*

it's easy to mention you, you have a chosen alias. people i have to name are much harder. you have an online persona and thus i know i have permission to discuss you online. others not so much.

i will stop mentioning my blog but i also think it's time to change the work address.

if only everyone remebered to take that deep breath hey?


brea: i have the same rule... and yet i am not certain i would want some professionals to 'meet' me through this blog right?


dzer: i don't, i consider it a lovely surprise not to mention something that makes up nicely for the total suckage of the main act. okay a bit of it didn't suck.

deal dude, come and i'll tour ya.

6/12/2006 05:13:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

clarity: i'm actually going to do firstname@nameoffuturestudio and keep them really really separate :)

and yes, i feel that my friend was right about my complete lack of caution being a potential problem. i don't want a big firewall but i do want one.


kj: i saw nothing wrong with what you wrote either... we can't really judge the people who read these things or how they read them.

tragically i can think of some professionals that wouldn't work with me simply because i'm friendly to pot use. i think it's silly but it's not a good reason to lose clients right?

ahhh be late, i haven't posted in days anyway :)


bubbles: thanks. and yeah, that's the take i'm going to have on it now.

well, i'm perfectly willing to focus, i want to go a lot but all the places to stay i find on the net are minimum 80 bucks and i need FOUR nights so that's a lot. (thurs eve to mon am)

and yes, i will party with any seattle bloggers i come across :)

it is in bellevue at that motel specifically. and thanks for looking into it for me!

nope, nothing. where were ya?

6/12/2006 05:16:00 PM  
Blogger kathi said...

Dang, I'm gonna have to add one more to the list of people who have told me to stuff it. I'm gonna need more paper.

6/14/2006 01:51:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

*lmao*

6/14/2006 06:59:00 AM  
Blogger Baby Daddy said...

Sass: a 30-second Seattle tourist tips...
The Sound Transit bus 560 takes you from the airport to Bellevue for just a couple of bucks... about 30 minute ride.

Also, the Jimi Hendrix grave is in Renton, about halfway between Sea Tac Airport and Bellevue. Bruce Lee's is in the Capitol Hill area of Seattle.

Bellevue is across the lake from Seattle... just east of Seattle. Like a second largest city to Seattle. Microsoft's HQ is nearby in Redmond.

Have fun if you go.

6/19/2006 04:07:00 AM  
Blogger Baby Daddy said...

Also, there's a few cheapie hotels in the Eastgate part of Bellevue and also, you could always stay in Renton at the Holiday Inn or a few other hotels in Renton... a quick walk to a transit center and the buses head to Bellevue pretty frequently.

6/19/2006 04:11:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

dom: that is some excellent advice and since i like books i don't mind buses :)

i probably won't have time to tour which is okay because i've spent time in seattle before. this is assuming i can afford the plane ticket!!

i found a longstay place (WITH KICTCHEN!) that's super cheap (okay sixty bucks but that's good for a 7:30am start) and a mile from the venue for friday and saturday nights and i'll spend thursday and sunday at someplace cheap by the airport.

i think. if i can find a flight and get cash in time.

i hadn't thought of buses though, i don't know why... makes me feel silly :)

6/19/2006 11:51:00 AM  

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