missed episodes and other calamities

I missed three things this week in some strange way. The current life as we know it, the 'premiere' of the second half of the North Shore season *drat cause shannen was gonna kick some ass and i was so gonna snicker* AND i missed the second half of Joan of Arcadia due to sitting on the remote at an innapropriate moment and failing to notice...

These are the things that perturb me. Is that wrong? Aren't I supposed to care about things like having to look at shrub for another year? *shudder* or a dear friend's dear friend departing the planet? Or the starving kittens/children/homeless folks in various places? There's stuff I'm just supposed to stress about. Supposed to worry and rant and be upset and let it make me stressed. Except I decided not to. Until I choose to get involved in politics or protests [which is just politics by another name] I confess that I don't really want to think about it.

I know that there are starving children and murdered mothers and deadbeat fathers and sadistic dictators and some kind of axis of terror of which george bush is the president. I know that I can get beaten, raped, mugged, killed, hit by a car, generally maligned, ignored, slandered and really just mistreated. I know the black and hateful things that lurk in the dark places and scare children. Just tell me one thing.

Why do I have to think about it? Why do I have to talk about it and let the festering ooze into my heart by getting angry about it? Can't I change the world by being generous and kind and trying to make people feel better? Maybe reducing people's pain isn't as noble a cause as something that wins a nobel peace prize.

But still. If I make that guy over there smile then maybe he won't be as much of a prick to the lady at the bank and then maybe she'll be a smidge nicer to the poor sucker who needs a loan and then maybe...

No, I haven't seen the movie pay it forward.

I just mean that trying to live the best life, trying to be supportive and caring, trying to ease burdens, loosen pain and generally improve the energy around me has to be a worthwhile thing to do doesn't it? Is spreading joy not a legitimate activist movement? Do I have to be angry and shouting to make a difference?

Maybe if I can just reduce the pain quotient of the world a tiny little bit then maybe, just maybe, good things will come of it.

Bill and Ted must have had it right 'be excellent to each other'. that's a pretty good motto.

Is it good enough to make up for worrying about missed episodes of television shows? I don't know, but if it makes me happy to do it then doens't that mean I spread more joy?

Who knows. All i know is i'm pretty happy and i cause a lot of smiles.

[really, if you like the girl's shoes just tell her so, trust me, it will make her day]