happy hallowe'en/samhain

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I don't have too much time to post this because my mother is about to call me back. That said, I wanted to take the time to send hallowe'en wishes to y'all.

I think that people should take today more seriously than they do. Although perhaps serious isn't quite the right word here. Today is the last of the pagan holy days that are still celebrated. Several others are marked as well but they've been coopted into christian holidays.

In fact, according to this website:
Samhain (or Halloween)
October 31. An ancient Celtic festival which celebrates the beginning of winter, marked by death, and the beginning of the Celtic New Year. Samhain means "end of summer." Samhain is a sabbat universally observed, which is included among the Greater sabbats observed by neo-Pagans. The Druids, in ancient Ireland, once sacrificed to their deities by burning victims in wickerwork cages. All other fires were to be extinguished and lighted again from the sacrificial fire. This custom still continues in Ireland and Scotland, all fires in homes are extinguished and lighted again from bonfires, but without sacrificial victims. Samhain marks the third harvests and the storage of provisions for winter. The veil between the worlds of the living and dead is the thinnest during this time making communications easier. Souls of the dead can come into the land of the living. Samhain is a time for eliminating weaknesses, when pagan once slaughtered weak animals that were thought not to be able to survive the winter. This custom resulted in the modern practice by some who wanted to get rid of their weaknesses of writing them on a piece of paper and dropping them into a fire. Some baked cakes to be offered for the souls of the dead. Samhain was Christianized into All Hallow’s Eve or Halloween. The modern custom or trick-and-treating may have originated from an old Irish peasant custom of going door-to-door to collect money, breadcake, cheese, eggs, butter, nuts, apples and other foods in preparation for the festival of St. Columb Kill. Apples are included in many rites, especially as ingredients in brews. Dunking for apples may have been a divinatory practice.

This is pretty much the only Pagan turning point that exists in any form today. I suppose some cultures still celebrate May Day but I don't know anyone who has ever done it. Anyway othercat and I decided to mark the Pagan New Year with a New Year's resolution.

In fact we're going to lose ten pounds each by christmas. We even shook on it! (and looked apprehensive!)

This is really just so that when we celebrate the solstice in december we can eat like the gluttons we are and still come out ahead in January. You see I have 20 pounds left to chuck and he has 15 and we're both feeling inspired because hot doctor went and dropped a bunch of weight and he's looking fantastic. Yes, he got HOTTER.

I'm sorta happy about it though because i get all his old pants... and the best part? They actually fit. In fact they're *tight*. Can you imagine how weird it is to wear pants that are *tight* when you've been wearing what was effectively a sack for the last year or so?

No, I don't think you can. I'm basically walking around looking in mirrors and wondering if I should be looking at something in a bigger size, if i should lose more weight before I wear them and so on.

Why is this ridiculous?

You know the great tester or whether jeans fit or not? Well if you don't it's the roll. Yes the roll aka back bacon that hangs out over your waistband and looks terrible unless you're wearing a super baggy shirt.

Yeah, no roll. In fact smooth belly rising out of said jeans. Shut up, we're not talking about sitting down!

That means they fit right? No matter how uncomfortable it is to move in pants that are snug they fit. So that means I'm a size 32 now. Yeah dudes... I've gone from a size 24 and you can't buy jeans by waist size cause you're too fat to a size 38 and then down to an 18 in women's sizes to a 32 (puts me around 12/14 in women's sizes i think...). And that is still a little bigger than I wish to be but at least it's within shouting distance of where I want to end up.

It's so strange to be this close to the end of such a long trip. I'm really being forced to wrap my head around the fact that I'm not the fat girl who can't move. It's funny because when I became disabled it took me a really long time to accept that I was broken and that there were a lot of things I could not do. In fact I was already healing by the time I really got how fucked up my body was. I wonder how long it will take in reverse...

Here's a before photo of othercat and i:


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Been looking into flights to Italy and I definetely can't go. *sulk*