uniforms...

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wow my nerd post seemed to hit a lot of you where it hurt, which is, in fact, the same place it hurts me :)

tonight princess valium and i are off to the fire fighters ball and it is reported (by an excellent pal of mine) that we will have a fantabulous time. apparently she has friends that go every year it's that much fun.

of course i'm sure that it will turn out that i've got tickets to the other professional fire fighters ball and we'll be stuck there with all the stodgy matrons or something.

okay i doubt it since when i called to find out what 'clothing optional' meant [i mean really i guess i could show up naked?? but i don't really *want* to...] they said 'everything from jeans to gowns' and i don't think the stodgy set go to that kind of party.

of course it also makes deciding what to wear nearly impossible. *grin*

couldn't they have limited the menu just a tiny little smidgy bit?

personally i'm hoping for some men in uniform. yes, i know just how cheesy that is but there is something about fire fighters that i just don't understand... they're all hot. no seriously they are. even the ugly ones are hot.

i think it's that service thing or something. you add the information that they are willing to run IN to a burning building to save my sorry ass and somehow they get super hot pretty much instantly.

there's a lot more to it than that and truly i can't explain it but i swear sometimes they also select for hot when they're going through the applications. i'm such a shallow little bitch that i wouldn't even mind if that were true!

anyway they're hot in jeans but they're smoking [oh man did i just make that pun?!?] in their uniforms and frankly i honestly don't give a crap if the room is filled with ugly people because if you give PV and i weed (d-uh!) and some booze? fucking right we're going to sit in the corner and play fashion crimes.

don't get me wrong, we'll dance too but even if the entire crowd is lame and the music sucks? we're going to have a blast.

it's actually almost a little bit funny how stoked i am about this evening. mostly to party with her of course but still stoked. i don't really hang around anywhere i can meet other people my age. i meet young people at the climbing gym and older folks teaching pilates [and even if they aren't old i can't really make them into friends right?] and gay people in my neighbourhood.

and i love the gay community i do but i would kind of like to make friends with some straight folks my own age. i guess that's kind of a strange thing to want and yet i do.

damm i wonder where my client is, she's ten minutes late which is a lot even for her. i hope she makes it this week, i need the money to pay rent. i'm okay without it but life would be easier is all. doesn't matter too much, being a few days late is not a problem in my building.

turns out i had forgotten to unlock the front door of the building and she was standing outside. oops!

regardless, i'm stoked about this evening and i declare that all of you should be jealous.
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one of my readers decided i needed cheering up and this appeared in the mail: (can i out you or is it a secret?)

that is in fact me sitting at band practise with my drum between my legs in case y'all are wondering.

note the hair, finally long enough for a shitty ponytail! also note the grin, so it worked :)
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i came home to have a shower and the water is off. annoyingly i can't even get pissed about it because there were signs up for three days warning of this. it does sort of wreck the annoyance factor doesn't it?

it pisses me off because i had time this morning before work and i didn't do it. now i have to sort of smell for my last three classes of the day and THEN i can finally have a shower.

*grumble*
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what the fuck does one wear to a clothing optional party? and does the phrase 'clothing optional' strike the rest of you as funny as it does me?

speaking of clothing options, i am meeting with my ex sometime next week. the thing is i'm like a hundred times hotter than i was when we split up (which is tragically satisfying... but not as much as it could be since all i've done is gotten back to how i was when we met... so he won't be AS surprised) and i know that will surprise him.

my inner bitch is thinking 'wear your fucking hottest outfit but make it one that looks effortless' and my inner angel is thinking 'wear sweats, it's not like you want him back after all' and my inner neutral and sane person is thinking 'wear something simple and comfortable and who cares what you look like' and the rest of me?

it's wondering why the hell i'm even thinking about this.

in fact it's thinking that if i spend any more time on this contemplation of what to wear for the ex that i might actually find i'm in denial about my real purposes. which i'm not.

i think.

it's so hard to read your own mind. wouldn't it be nice if there was a little box you could stick your head in and it could tell you what you were really thinking and what your real motivations were?

i'm pretty sure that i just want to look hot for the sheer satisfaction of it. take that you you you EX and see what you're missing. it's stupid really because looks only matter when you're first, first meeting someone and after that you see in their faces a reflection of their inner soul and their real appearance becomes irrelevant.

okay except when the girl you've only seen in sweats shows up in pvc on hallowe'en... which is unfair as hell.

but otherwise? yeah it doesn't matter. you don't even see reality after a while and i'm almost certain that neither he nor i can see the other with any clarity. we broke up hella ugly after all.

so why, after all that, do i still want to look as hot as possible?

ahh vanity you silly thing you.