one two freak

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This is a picture of my cat Sappho (saa-foe) who is having a really shitty day. I took her to the vet because her mouth was being funny and we all happily assumed she had an abcessed tooth. In goes the vet this morning for an x-ray and a tooth cleaning/extraction... and out she comes. It turns out that her teeth aren't rotten, her jaw is. Half of the bone in her jaw is just gone. Gone.

How does that happen? How does half your head butting little darling's jaw rot away without anyone even noticing? So anyway the long and the short of it is that she either has cancer or a massive bone infection. The Vet who is a definite countess of cats and as heartbroken as I am about all this is ninety-five percent sure that it's cancer. For that matter so am I.

So, if it's a bone infection it means three months of antibiotics and a bone graft. That's the good option.

If it's cancer then there are two options. Option one is to remove half her jaw, put her on massive steroids and see if the cancer responds. Downfall? Yeah, no jaw and the poor dear has to eat through a tube for the rest of her life. I love that lady enough that I'm pretty sure it's not a choice she would make. So no.

Option two? Take her home and make her comfortable and just love her a lot for a few months. I'm crying right now. I'm still shocked enough that I just tear up and then it stops but man when the shock breaks I'm going to be a right fucking mess.

This darling girl has had a tough life. Nine years of being the second cat. Abuse from my exes cat for a while while she was recovering from her heart sister athena's death and the anorexia that showed up as a result of her depression. [Those of you who don't believe animals can grieve may have wished to hear her cry every night all night for days after I came home without Athena.] She's had a good couple of years since I moved away from the ex. Actually only a year and a half. I guess that as retirements go it's short but sweet?

This just feels so unfair. Athena died from a brain tumor after a horrible decline and now I get another cancerous cat? This sucks man.

I'm going to go get significantly intoxicated now.