anonymity and the blogverse.

[this post tried four times to get posted last night but blogger kept eating it]
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had coffee at noon. have to teach at 6:30. WIDE awake.

error error error!
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if you aren't a nerd skip to the next .

MU FUCKING ISP CHANGED MY GODDAMM IP address and now all my fucking email is going to bounce until my DNS guy reads his mail. Goddammit I knew I should have installed bind 5 fucking years ago. See what happens when you're lazy? I'm pissed. Words fail me.
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Okay so I'm really starting to understand this whole *anonymous* thing with blogging because damm. I keep getting busted for saying things about people who a) i had no idea read my blog and b) are too fucking smart for my own good. I say something that I think is all subtle and circumspect
(okay unless you're the okcupid guy in which case sorry) and I get email going 'uh... is that me?'

so

do you ever wish you hadn't told your mother/sister/brother/friend/prospective boy/total stranger/billboard/work colleague/etc. about your blog? You look around one day and realise that
all of the people you might want to complain about actually MIGHT read your blog?

Or, people TELL you they read your blog and you had no idea. You show them one thing (like a picture of your kitten or a link to something or whatever) and then they're like

"so i was reading your blog"

and you're like. 'oh shit... what do you think i said about you?'

Ironically, you often are not in fact referring to whomever thinks you're talking about them. Well I'm not. I can't speak for Scared Bunny and Elle who actually use people's real names and phone numbers!

yeah time to save this as a draft. i got FULLY busted by someone to whom I actually referred in a less than flattering way and I have to deal before I start blogging about it. It sort of seems fair.

the thing is I'm almost never *just* referring to whomever or whatever I'm referring to. Something that happened in my life that day or that week or five minutes ago or last year might pop into my head and I'll just write about it. But what I'll actually do is use whatever happened as a jumping off point for a big long muse about something totally else.
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okay for fuck's sakes the fucking blogger lost my entry TWICE and I'm not typing it again.

I typed it THREE times. I stuck it in the clipboard. I am not MEANT to post the rest of this.
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So, back to anon thoughts. For example, my friendship rant recently. That was actually inspired because scared bunny was talking about men and women can't be friends that one of them doesn't want to fuck the other and I got to thinking. Like 15 years of my life worth of thinking and I realised that he's right. (except othercat cause he's gay and married and more like my brother). So I discussed that and ways of dealing with that and i was in the kind of mood where I was being funny and nasty and you know, I can think of at least three people who almost certainly think I was referring directly to them and are pissed and yet I wasn't. I really was just thinking about stuff.

Or that fucking book 'he's just not that into you' ... there is some great stuff in that book and it really got me thinking. For example there are some examples of abuse/neglect/substance issues that are dead on and great information for anyone in the dating universe. That said, some of their shit is cracked. Like WHY shouldn't women ask men out? No really why not? Most men I know say they would be delighted if such things happened more often?

And their ideas about busy people are fully addled. Fully. Seriously my day today is so nuts that other than finishing this entry I am going to run my ass off for hours and NOT call anyone. Not by phone, not by email, not by carrier pigeon and certainly not by knocking on their door. I gots to work, try to catch a nap, get my car at the doc and so on adn so on and so on. So by their lights I'm not even that into my mother since I surely won't call her today. Obviously these people are busy in regular office hours and have plenty of time on their hands.

Still the book got me thinking a lot about male/female dating behaviour. However I used a guy on a dating site as an example and then fully traumatised him by telling him about my blog. So not only does the poor guy think I'm insane but he also got a running commentary on his behaviour through the filter of that stupid book. In retrospect I probably should have waited a bit before telling him about the blog.

Fortunately for me I believe my gut more than I believe a book that I read, but it's been an interesting few days while I thought about it.

I guess the point is that now I'm trying to figure out where what I want to say stops and where other people's feelings start... also I'm trying to figure out how to talk about my life without talking about someone else's. And I have to tell you I'm really not sure.