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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

to drive or to park

.
Lately, when driving, I've found my attention wandering everywhere but the road. Now if I'm awake and alert and it's a nice day and I'm in a good mood it's not a problem. But otherwise?

Damm, today I almost hit the same car three different times. I found myself more fascinated by the new climbing calluses on my fingers than the road. I was on the phone, worried about my schedule, chewing my nails (after getting climbing chalk OUT of them) and so on.

None of this had anything to do with the shitty traffic I was stuck in.

Now, I'm sort of thinking that this may have something to do with the weather. It's humid and hazy and the smog is sort of crowding in on itself in an attempt to make even bigger and better pollution records for august.

Hrm, now if that isn't an argument for moving back to the country I don't know what is.

Anyway the air smells horrible right now and I'm basically praying for rain in order to wash all that shit out of the air. Except it rained. today. a lot. and it didn't do crap for the ozone smelling mess that i'm breathing.

Still, none of that explains why suddenly I can't be bothered paying attention when I'm driving a multiple ton piece of machinery. [hmm I wonder what my accord weighs...] It's almost as though I've grown contemptuous of the road. As though I know it can't hurt me.

And I am here to tell you that is the single stupidest thing I have EVER said. Because here I am, three and a half years later, and I'm STILL in recovery from the last accident and that one wasn't even MY fault. In fact I was sitting, STOPPED and waiting to turn right when I got rear ended by a moron who thinks that friction doesn't apply to HIS suv.

So it's not like I don't know the consequences it really isn't. And it's not like I'm not aware that an EIGHTH whiplash might just kill me.

So what is it? Why am I suddenly utterly unwilling to pay attention to the road?

And what do I do about it when I need my car for work?

4 Comments:

Blogger castufari said...

You getting enough sleep, food? I have plenty of days when I'm not paying attention, esp in the afternoons when I'm driving into the sun. It's scary, I usually end up pulling over to nap or I'll eat something. One day I pulled over and napped for 2 hours, it was great.

8/03/2005 03:48:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

yeah i think i'm getting enough of those... what i'm not getting enough of are actual days off.

that said... i'm not sure that's it... it's like i just can't be bothered or something... weirdness

8/04/2005 10:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snap out of that one asap!

Especially after being in
accidents -

I got rear-ended in 200l
and it has been pure hell
since - and I'm still nervous as a passenger -for good reason, but not
to go into here.
I'm nervous for many reasons and the consequences of my whiplash
and neck injuries are many.

Please be alert - I really
couldn't take being in another accident - and nor
can you.

Katie

Be safe!

8/05/2005 12:16:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

Katie this is EXACTLY why i'm so upset about this. i'm pretty sure i'm wheelchair bound if i get whiplash again (7 times already although only 3 were me and a couple of mine didn't involve cars)

even being aware that i'm doing it it's still happening, i TRULY wish i could understand it!

8/05/2005 12:33:00 AM  

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