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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Thursday, July 21, 2005

deep thought

there that's my whole post :)

Today I'm a little bit prouder than usual to be Canadian. The Civil Marriage Act is officially law and now there is no reason that my best friend and his partner can't get married if they choose. The House, the Senate AND the Governor General have passed the bill and it's law. In fact the Prime Minister did a speech about it a while ago that still brings shivers to my whole body when I read it and I've read it several times, read it to people, posted a link to it and posted it on my site. Here it is again.

It made my friend hubris cry actually.

Anyway, sometimes you're just really happy to live where you live and it's sure nice to be the fourth country in the world to do something really cool. In fact... even though several Albertans believed it to be so the world did NOT in fact end today. I think the sun may even rise tomorrow!!!!


Ironically there I was again hanging out with the gay boys instead of scoping out the straight ones. This has to stop. I teach Pilates... to WOMEN. I'm the superintendent of a building in the heart of the gay village. I'm in a band with a pile of taken men. I am joined at the hip to a man married to another man. And I go to the climbing gym with a married guy. Seriously can I give myself no chance of meeting someone or what?

I mean really, I don't think I could engineer it better for total lack of meeting male people if i TRIED.

So, that said... i'm so busy at least I hardly have time to care. Part of me thinks 'hey you have a crazy busy life and all sorts of fun activities... what does it matter?' ... but another part of me thinks 'you haven't gotten laid in TWO YEARS!' and I have to tell you that part two is louder. Tragically, I'm not a casual sex kind of girl.

Life would be SO much easier if I were. I could just go to hillside and bring some condoms and find a little boy to fuck and be done with it. But I can't... I'm just not the type. In fact I actually DON'T fuck on the first date. [which is not to say that I've never had casual sex, I actually have several times during my younger years] I'm not saying that I've never boinked someone I just met or that I never will again... just that the odds of me putting out the first time we get together are about as good as the odds that I will find a name for my fucking kitten. [who i like, I just can't name.][please note obligatory Hillside reference... I'm not excited at all.]

You know... speaking of finding boys to fuck at Hillside. This reminds me of last year. there I was with my great tent and my double bed and some fresh condoms and everything... because well, it never hurts to prepare yourself for foolishness even when you aren't really the type. Damm ski patrol and it's be prepared crap. Anyway there was this really cute 19 year old boy camping beside othercat's and my little area. He was there with a girl that may or may not have been his girlfriend (I don't think THEY knew) and some friends.

This girl treated him like crap and I actually was heard to say to othercat 'that girl better watch it or i'm going to trip that boy on principle.'

Be careful what you wish for.

So he and I are hanging out that night at the drum circle [which goes all night fyi] and generally it dawns on me that noone else is around, the sun is close to the horizon in the am direction and i'm walking around with a teenage boy. Who invites me back to his tent for a bowl.

So how naive am I? I think he means 'let's smoke some pot and then i'll see you later'...

yeah not so much.

So he jumps me. I confess I nearly did it. I came *this* close to doing it. And then he took off his shirt and he had those little boy boobs that some guys who were chubby as kids have in their late teens and I was SO OVER the whole idea.

All of a sudden I'm in a tent with a teenager and I'm the cougarest cougar ever in my own mind. And I can't believe I've ended up there... or that I've let things progress this far... [it was dawn and you are slightly intoxicated from the second you wake up at hillside and my shift had started at 7AM that day so i was awake a loooong time...]

So I say for the ninetieth time 'no, I really can't do this' which he takes as 'i'm reluctant ... just convince me' ... which i was and if he were even a little smooth he could have talked his way into my pants and he says 'but come ON... a NINETEEN year old WANTS to fuck YOU' as though i'm supposed to be like flattered or something?

He just kept repeating it, like he couldn't believe that an actual woman was turning him down, meant it and wasn't impressed with his teenage man boobs. In some ways that makes me glad for the sake of women everywhere that I really did say no.

Seriously the moral of this story? Right back to the cliche I used to use on the boys at the bar when I was bartending.

Age and experience over youth and enthusiasm EVERY time baby.


Blogger BadGod said...

If you would have nailed him, you would have been a sexual goddess in his eyes forever. Which you could be a sexual goddess now, but I mean, uh, whatever.

Good call on your part, I think.

7/21/2005 02:37:00 AM  
Blogger castufari said...

But he was 19! Manboobs=moobs. :)

Congrats to Canada on the same sex marriage thing, if only the US would ease up some.

7/21/2005 06:45:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

it really did feel like it should have been illegal... it's really funny and hard to explain but nonetheless :)

dude i don't need to be the sexual goddess of a kid... that would make it so hard for his women to live up to *snicker*

7/21/2005 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger Eddie said...

That makes you proud to be a Canadian? The cold weather is definitely affecting your head. The people from the states I know that have visited Canada do not understand why anyone would ever want to live there? Taxes are way, way too high, and your media doesn't allow free speech, heck, your radio stations even dictate how many Canadians you must put on air. Is this Syria North or what?

7/21/2005 12:55:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

A lot of things make me proud to be canadian. Our medical system, our social conscience, our culture of tolerance.

We are currently having a heatwave... it's been too hot for clothes for weeks (although a bit cooler the last few days) so i'm not too sure what cold has to do with it.

Our media absolutely allows free speech... we also have some canadian content laws for music... is that wrong? I don't think so, I've heard some fantastic music because of it.

I'd rather pay higher taxes than medical insurance in the states. Every 30 seconds someone in the states declares bankruptcy for medical bills. that shit SUCKS man.

7/21/2005 01:31:00 PM  
Blogger Eddie said...

I really think you are misinformed about our health care system, most Canadians are. For beginners, all of your educated doctor's leave to practice, where? The United States. Second, my work subsidizes my health plan and I pick up the difference. Why should I get free health care for being lazy and sitting on my @ss? I don't expect you to pay for my clothes, why should you pay for my healthcare?

I have never waited six hours in my entire life to see a general doctor. However, my friends at our Canadian office in Toronto have, on a regular basis. As a child, I had one continuous doctor. The lady in our Canada office had a new doctor every 3 months b/c she lived in Northern Ontario. Now, that sucks to me.

You do not have to wait, at all, for surgery in the US. There is no ONE YEAR waiting list in the US for hip surgery? What, that is a third world country, is that Canada, or Ghana? My girlfriend's father has an aunt who lived in Canada. She had a baby die in her womb after six weeks. SHE NEEDED to wait three months to have it removed!

Anyway,sure, we pay for our health care system somewhat, but isn't it worth it? If you are poor, you are still covered by the state.

7/21/2005 04:49:00 PM  
Blogger Eddie said...

The Canadian regulators can block any station they want from getting aired in Canada. Here, in the US, we let ALL voices be heard. Heck, you don't even have satellite radio there yet. We've had it for FOUR years.

7/21/2005 04:50:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...

We also have Bush, so that evens things up a bit.

Eddie, you do pay for people to sit around on their asses. Welfare, Section 8 housing...the list goes on and on. Now with the big mexican invasion (coming to a town near you!) you'll get to pay for illegals to have kids. There is an illegal family that gets out services from the agency I work for, they get 900.00/mo in assistance for their 2 kids.

7/21/2005 08:45:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

today, you pick today to be all anti-canadian. today when i'm in the most phenomenal mood because i'm off to my favourite weekend of the year in the morning.

so... one of my best friends is a doctor. used to practise at the mayo clinic. trained in the US and came back here because he loves it. brain drain works both ways dear.

it's interesting that in a country that considers having HAD cancer once to be a valid reason to deny someone health coverage you diss me and others like me for being 'fat and lazy'. I am neither sir but in the USofEh I absolutely would not be able to have health coverage. I have friends in the US that break bones and won't go to the doctor because they can't AFFORD it. I'd rather wait 6 hours thanks. That said, I've only ever waited 3 hours or less at an emergency room and under an hour at the GP but ymmv.

Try living in the wilds of (uh no idea here...) north dakota. I'm betting the doctor changes pretty regularly.

Eddie you talk like a have to someone who is a have not. In the US I would have no coverage, none... and neither does a large portion of your population. I will look into state coverage but it's my understanding that it's significantly poorer than our standard of care here.

Yeah I'm pissed that Al Jazeera got denied airspace here... but so do a lot of people. That said, trust me bud, at least our version of NPR isn't muzzled. Our general news is broad and interesting and international. When I watch US News I'm appalled at how one sided and biased it is. In my personal opinion the people of the United States have been done a gross disservice by their media.

That said, in my original post i never once dissed the US, I simply said that I was proud to be canadian today because my best friend is now as equal as I am. I'm sorry that that offended you and caused you to go off about how much canada sucks but seriously man... I didn't say a THING to diss you... all I did was be proud of my country... why is that so offensive?

7/22/2005 01:40:00 AM  
Blogger BadGod said...

Canadians are cool. I love the Red-Green show. That is filmed up there, right?

7/22/2005 04:57:00 AM  
Blogger Eddie said...

I apologize if I offended you. Reality is, I liked all the Canadians I met while in Toronto and they were nothing but polite and courteous to me. I was not dissing you, I was merely making a political statement about your government. I am as proud of my country as you are of yours.

As you are not from the US, I understand that you probably do not understand our health care. The truth of the matter is, the vast majority of employers here pick up the vast majority of cost, with a nominal employee contribution. You CAN'T be denied coverage in a group employer plan. So yes, you would have health coverage if you worked for a living like I do.

My grandparents left Europe because it sucked rocks. I am proud of them for doing so. Because of their sacrifice, I live very well, without war, with great job opportunities, and my father avoided WW2 altogether in Czechoslovakia. I would do anything to meet them and thank them for coming to this country. As it were, they died in the 70's at very old ages, in spite of our "lack" of health care, hah hah.

I do have a problem though when uninformed Canadians felt the need to tell me who to vote for in my election when they weren't familiar with our issues. Reality is, 9/11 affected us more than it affected Canada. Reality is, America is a target because of our support of Israel. Reality is, America was a target of Saddam Hussein, who never once listened or followed the UN, or waste of space.

Godspeed to you.

7/22/2005 11:09:00 AM  
Blogger Eddie said...

It says a lot about the USA that, for centuries now, people have been banging down our door to live here. I asked a gentleman who emmigrated to Canada why he didn't come to the US, his response, "too tough to get entry." No, it wasn't due to our lack of health care.

PS. How many great Canadian drug companies are there? Pfizer, Merck, Genentech, the list goes on and on here. Socialized medicine stifles innovation. It always does and always will.

7/22/2005 11:13:00 AM  
Blogger Hubris said...

Wow. Eddie, you strike me as a particularly close-minded and Republican American. I am an American myself & I submit this:
1. Media. Close to 90% of ALL media i.e. TV Radio, & Newspapers are now part of corporate conglomerates. And incase you don't know about lobbying, major corporations are largely responsible for who gets put into the Oval Office. Once that President is there, thanks to lobbying, he must do what he can to insure that they reap benefits from his term. These are energy companies and other industrialist scumfucks who wish to make money and rape the environment and every people foreign or domestic that stand in their way. Oh yeah, the US government is one of those corporations as well. As a result the US government & media are one in the same and to think that one actually has freedom of speech there is laughable at best. If we have freedom of speech, why do they sensor broadcasts from Al Jazeera? If we have freedom of speech why is such a small percentage of the media liberal? CNN & FOX are at the top of a list of guilty parties that stretches from A to Z. When ever a newsworthy event happens they cover the facts for 20 minutes & then spend the next 20 days talking to analysts I've never heard of & have no reason to trust. All they do is regurgitate rhetoric. Sass is right. The media is doing a massive disservice to the people of the US.

2. Health Care. Yes, the US has wonderful research for drugs that many other nations do not have. ALL of those companies are for profit such that they are being tied up in the legal system. No one can afford this stuff unless they have insurance. And No, the vast majority of companies do not cover. Most do if you make over 45K per year. & the coverage is pretty good. But the problem does not lay with the rich. It lies with the poor. Those who make too much to qualify for government assistance still do not make enough to get good healthcare. After living there for 25 years, what I saw was every job that you would refuse to work, i.e. food service, call centers, customer service at the low ends of retail, WAL-MARTish companies, they all require maximum hours for minimal pay and benefits. All those things that happen around you & make your world easier are done by people who cannot afford the standard of living that your rhetoric whispers about. I have been without affordable insurance for my entire adult life. Why? I have a college degree, I've always worked full-time, and I’m not lazy. I followed what I was told to attain "the American Dream" and got shit to show for it except an alarming school loan debt that is still on Hardship Deferral after 3 years. These companies do offer coverage of a large percentage but larger still is the total cost. I was alarmed when my company told me that coverage for my young wife & I would be more than $600 per month. Then they proved that they were still covering 60% of the total premium!

I don't even know you but you remind me of the very reasons why I had to leave my homeland. It saddens me to hear rants from yet another Bushleaguer about how Canada doesn't understand fuck all about what goes on down there. You are knee deep in a sea of lies, rape, & murder and that is just the government to start. The way they conduct domestic & foreign policy is the very reason for the social deterioration that you will eventually be flanked by. I pray that this government, on the verge of totalitarianism, will be subdued by the millions of trampled, poor & ignored that it has created over the last half-century. We are already seeing it in NYC, London, Washington DC; Poor forced bottom feeders fed up with being the bones that we use to pave our roads & build our blood running SUV's. I also pray for the day that this entire planet runs out of oil simply because the entire US & its infrastructure is inherently dependent on it. I hope to be there to see this empire crumble. Maybe then will I finally be able to go home and maybe for once, feel good or proud to be an American.

7/22/2005 07:26:00 PM  
Blogger BadGod said...

Green--your choice to leave your homeland. I am doing just fine here. I can afford my health insurance, live in a decent place, and still have money to spend. All of this and didn't even go to college. I am sorry you hate the US so bad. I understand we have some problems. Alot of it because of Bush. Maybe it will get better, maybe it won't. But I'd rather stay and fight for the change.

I don't understand how you can't afford health insurance.
I am not saying you are lazy. But don't sit and cry because you went to college and can't make the money you want. Exact reason I did not go to college.

You wish for the destruction of the US and then wanna come home to it. Then maybe you can say you are proud to be an american?? Stay the fuck out of here if that's the way you feel.
You are one of those people who will run away until the fight is over and then came skipping back, saying "told ya so".

America has problems, yes. Canada has problems too. Canada is fine country.

7/23/2005 12:02:00 AM  
Blogger afp763389 said...


7/23/2005 09:08:00 AM  
Blogger Hubris said...

My choice to leave was so my wife could finish her PhD. I choose not to come back since the results of the last election. Do you really think it does not break my heart? I miss my family and friends and Michigan among many others. I don't hate the US. Just the government. I do not wish for the destruction of the US. Just the destruction of the Elite vs. the poor. The only fight I'm running from is the vile penetration our fine upstanding & respectable country keeps shoving into the borders of countries where we do not belong. If the US are so concerned about WMD's & BC weapons, why don't we try invading Idaho? Better yet, why did we design them, build them & then sell them to other countries? The Scud missles were sold to Iraq by the US. Why all this scare tactics & fear? Invasion in a country that did not have any more since the first time we were there... Oh fuck! I forgot about the oil! Don't you need that to run your car and home? Who the fuck can be proud of that & still sleep at night? What should have been a wake up call four years ago has turned into a nationalistic call to arms. I gotta tell ya, more weapons do not make me feel safe. I can fight for change from here & maybe I won't get nuked. Cuz when it happens you will be generalized as just another American with a quality of life that your government stole for you. Choosing to not to live that lifestyle is a great way to fight against what I beleive is wrong. So poop on you.

7/23/2005 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...

We'll always have poor people who will do nothing to get out of their situations. I know, "they can't", or "they don't have the same opportunities"". This might be partially true, but if you want something bad enough then you can probably pull it off if it is within reason.

What did you take in college that put you so heavily in debt? I have a friend who spent 4 years at Barnard to get a degree in art history, she's now working PT in an auction house for 18k/yr plus is a hostess at a restaurant. 160k+ for college, she's living at home because there is no way she'll be able to make it back. A former friend of mine went to school to become a PA, she's carrying 100k in debt at 10% and is on the verge of not making payments anymore (which happens when you don't work I guess).

7/23/2005 07:55:00 PM  
Blogger Hubris said...

Well put. There is a difference between effort & circumstance.

Graphic Design. In retrospect, perhaps I'd have liked photography instead.

7/23/2005 09:04:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...

Good, glad I didn't offend.

You like photography...what is stopping you? Have you considered doing a volunteer gig somewhere just for the experience and networking?

7/23/2005 10:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny how Bush spouts off about "Freedom" but never really defines it. O Canada, you now have more Freedom in marriage equality that the US!

7/24/2005 02:23:00 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

I, personally, love Canada for that legislation. I loved it before, but now my love is everflowing.

And totally agreed that age and experience are ALWAYS better than youth and enthusiasm. And shit, I'm pretty young.

Awesome blog, Sass :)

7/25/2005 01:10:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

teresa naomi that's exactly how i feel. i'm not saying that canada is the only cool place in the world but i'm sure prouder than usual of this place these days. :)

thanks naomi... i'm glad that people are liking it. cracks me up that i started a nationalistic ranting fest because i'm glad my best friend is now allowed to get married!

7/25/2005 04:37:00 PM  

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