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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Monday, September 12, 2005

shh i might mention dating

.
My hands are enough better that I'm going to go climbing tomorrow. I am forcing hubris to rent a harness so we can do routes because I'm still just too tired to do any bouldering. It's more that I have this weak thumb thing going back for a long time and I exacerbated it last week with chopping wood and bouldering on the same day.

yeah that was kinda dumb.

what, i said it was dumb??
.

hubris i shall kill you. you stole my lighter. and i can't find another one.
fuck.
.

okay onward. so i seem to have done it again. there are two different men on okcupid who are emailing me and they're both pretty interesting. Both of them are actually in their THIRTIES [seriously why is a 21 year old messaging me?] with brains and addictions to books. This freaking matching thingy isn't so bad. They're both in the 70s which is not as high as some but makes it interesting. I think sometimes when the match is too good it's almost weird and sibling like or something. at least that's what i see when i look at a bunch of my high match profiles. that and most of my matches in the 80s are my FRIENDS! [course scaredbunny is right both ways about several of my straight male friends :)]

one of the new okcupid men is even into bodywork which is pretty neat. shut up murph it's not about sex :P [and it's more meditation and spiritual anyway]

the original okcupid guy continues to write excellent emails but he doesn't seem particularly in a hurry to have a second date and although I know he's very busy that speaks volumes to me. Either I've somehow sent a 'hmmm not so much' message or he's sending one that I'm catching or we both are. That said, I really really really hope for friendship on that front because he seems like a most excellent man to hang out with.

So these two guys started emailing me within a day or two of each other and i'm (so embarassed) totally mixing them up when I write them email. I'll forget to whom i said what and who said what to me and i forget who i asked what.

hopefully they'll just think i'm scatterbrained.

but how do i keep doing this pairing thing? it's like i'm on elimidate only on okcupid. what's wrong with one at a time? heck i think that right this minute i can think of something like 4 men that i know, that are available that i would happily date. This is unheard of. If I meet four total in a year i'm amazed.

apparently in kundalini yoga there's a thing where you have to ask the Universe for what you need and then you will get it. and right when i asked okcupid guy out i felt like some big shift happened around me... it's like i have rendered myself visible to the opposite sex again.

[in fact the same thing seems to be happening with pilates since i got canned... i hope :)]

even better? when i'm out in public i'm one of the girls that the *other* girls check out. *delighted giggle*. Chicks only check out the women that they are concerned about. Often they dismiss them as 'no competition' and sometimes they think 'fair fight' and sometimes they give the little 'you bitch you have biceps AND tits' look. But I haven't been on another woman's 'threat radar' for years and I'm on it again. I really noticed this on that cruise i went on the other night.

The men were looking at me and not going "ew" which is also a nice change but they'll really do that with anything who has boobs that stick out past her stomach and i was wearing a tight shirt... but the women. the women are assessing me again.

Is it wrong to be delighted by this?

It feels conceited and egotistical and wrong. And yet I worked my ASS off to get to this point [hee literally and figuratively] and now i'm reaping the rewards for my own hard work. Yeah I still eat more than I should but that too is fading and i'm really not worried. So I exercise constantly and it's starting to show and that makes me really happy.

So then i think 'but you're supposed to exercise to feel better and not to look better' and i totally do that. but damn the looking better is sure a nice bonus.

It's like climbing, I don't do it for the eye candy. But it sure doesn't hurt!
.

Be jealous, I get to go camping on friday!
.

I have learned something hilarious. *I* have a copy of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. Yeah. Hubris' video games live here cause his PS2 died. So this game I wanted and posted about like a month ago? Yeah, here the whole time.

Also notice my thumb is worse which may indicate the location of the original thumb problem. Crap I love video games though.

Still how funny is it that I had the game? i hadn't even GLANCED at hubris' collection, just whined about wanting the game.
.

Ahhh Universe you're funny sometimes!

25 Comments:

Blogger DZER said...

No, it's not wrong to be delighted that your hard work has paid off and now you're a rockin' beautiful babe with biceps and bountiful breasts. And thanks for once again mentioning the super-tight shirt. ;)

You deserve to be on other women's threat radar ... even though you personally would never stoop to man-stealing, I can see why they'd have issues.

Kudos to you on being so totally crush, with multiple gentlemen callers ... I hope that at least one of them turns out to be a non-assholic, decent and datable fella.

And I hope for many more instances of tight shirts on cold evenings ;)

9/12/2005 06:27:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

it's funny though, it still feels egotistical to be delighted about it. also funny that i still feel kinda overweight and unattractive and stuff. girls are silly.

it's true that i would never stoop to man stealing... but i like that people think that about me... good to know my nice girlness shows a little.

wait only two of them are calling... there's a couple more i would date in a second if they asked and still a few more at the gym i'm sorta eyeing up in a future potential way. [you know like the one who offered to catch me the other day when i was trying to finish a problem up all high and weird... was so cute, he ran over and goes 'i've got you']{which is totally NORMAL behaviour in a climber and still endearing nonetheless}

dzer don't worry, i wear tight shirts 9 days out of 10. :)

9/12/2005 11:03:00 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

9 days in 10 they're tight ... but how often are they GLOVE tight? ;)

9/12/2005 11:19:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

uh... less often since i lost a bunch of weight and can't afford new clothes... but i have old clothes that fit before i got fat that fit again...

so yeah 3-5?

9/12/2005 11:23:00 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

lucky me ... well ... a lucky as I can be thousands of miles away and all alone in icq ... LOL

9/12/2005 11:26:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

and all alone on my blog too since i'm off to clean someone's house...

whee fun or something :)

9/12/2005 11:34:00 AM  
Blogger Blondie said...

i say that it is definitely NOT wrong to feel a little high and mighty about looking good. especially when you've worked so hard. coming from someone who has put in a lot of work herself (and still has tons more to go), i say that a healthy does of superiority every now and then is good for the soul. and i don't think you're the type to let it consume you, you know? enjoy it for a little bit :)

9/12/2005 12:22:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

aw geeze i *heart* you guys. i have a hard time telling the difference between cocky and confident because i've had a lot of self esteem problems in my life... nice to know a little bit cocky is okay.

tlove i've seen your pics.. .what work exactly do you still have to do?

9/12/2005 01:20:00 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

sass, that, i think, is for an email that i'll be sending you sometime today when i have the chance to write it all out! trust me, love, i have an idea of how you feel.

9/12/2005 02:33:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

well since you don't have my email let me tell you it's sassinakk@gmail.com :)

i definetely get the vibe that you've been on this page of the book before!

9/12/2005 03:21:00 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

EMAIL PARTY!!! i'll send you one soon :)

9/12/2005 03:50:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

muhahahahahaha!

and suckers i won't tell you what she said

nya nya

*laughing my ass off*

9/12/2005 04:07:00 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

sent! yeah, email party of two!

9/12/2005 04:20:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

*doing the happy email dance!*

read but can't reply til i get back from teaching, teaching, climbing and who knows :)

9/12/2005 04:50:00 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

damn ... I always miss the girl-on-girl e-mail parties when I lay me down to sleep LOL

9/12/2005 07:12:00 PM  
Blogger Hubris said...

Yes I did steal our lighter. Not maliciously but since you're so homocidal about it, I shant tell you where it is. That way, you can either have the pleasure of killing me or your lighter back and a living friend.

BUT NOT BOTH FUUUCKER!

9/12/2005 07:28:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

dzer: sucker!

hey hedonist, it's not OUR lighter, it's MY lighter. in fact othercat bought it for me damm you.

but okay, if you get me my lighter back in the next five minutes i'll let you live.

9/12/2005 11:50:00 PM  
Blogger stoned.nerd said...

..i'm (so embarassed) totally mixing them up when I write them email. I'll forget to whom i said what and who said what to me and i forget who i asked what...

Now i know why this lady i knew from friendster kept on asking the same old questions..

so what do you do on your weekends..
so what do you do in your free time..
so what're your interests...

FFS.

9/13/2005 01:55:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

hey we're talking multi page emails here and those questions have never come up.

give me a little credit geeze

*chuckling*

what's FFS?

9/13/2005 02:19:00 AM  
Blogger stoned.nerd said...

ahah i'm sure you dont go round and round like that.

how tough can it be to come up with interesting qns to ask? we can do a list right now!!!

FFS = for fucks sake.

9/13/2005 07:02:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

on okcupid.com it's easier than most because the profiles are interesting and pretty extensive. assuming you actually answer the profile questions that is.

ffs... gotta remember that :)

damm nerd that sounds like a new tag... interesting questions to ask a potential date.

9/13/2005 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger Light Strikes A Deal said...

I think that looking good because of hard work is a acceptable form of conceite. I remember and long for the body that once was. I am beggining my reassertion of an exercise life style and when I am again fit. We can compare bicepts and think how f'in hot we are together. Modesty be damned! We deserve to be stared at and like it, we'll say and snicker.

9/13/2005 12:09:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

i think that you're right, but still it makes me feel funny to be so smug. those smug people hurt to be around when i was broken and fat.

the part i do like is that i'm still only a 7 on my personal scale of 1-10 so this will only get better!

i like your plan...

9/13/2005 12:40:00 PM  
Blogger Light Strikes A Deal said...

What is this personal scale you speak of?

9/13/2005 10:45:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

1 - how i looked after my accident at the height of weight gain and dead muscleness
10 - how i looked when i got back from italy when i was 19
8.5 - how i was looking a few months before my accident
5 - how i was looking when you met me...

etc :)

your own personal 1-10 scale of hotness :)

9/13/2005 10:53:00 PM  

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