melting

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okay in 20 minutes i have to leave to see my teacher. you know, the goddess. yes, the lady who will beat the living shit out of my body and make me like it. the woman who put me back together when i was sure that it was impossible AND the woman who inspired my life into a new direction.

in short, the goddess.

this is good because i'm dying from that fucking weights workout on sunday and my pelvis is torquing again. something is out of whack and i can't figure it out and the osteopath only mostly fixed it.

but she will because really, she really is that good.

also i can quiz her about ALL of my tough clients. i'm stoked.

i'm also terrified because this woman can hurt you so you scream just by touching one finger to your spine and saying 'melt' ... and your spine, trained for ages to listen to her before it listens to you goes 'okay' and melts. and your entire back opens up in a way it hasn't in like five years and you literally shriek from the wonderful pain.

yes, i said wonderful pain.

yes i am a bit of a masochist.

and yes, i'm also a bit of a sadist.

you cannot be in my profession without both of those things being true.

that said, this relates more to the pain you feel when you're having a therapeutic massage. or the pain you feel when you're learning a new climbing move and it makes parts of you pull/push/clench/stretch/whatever in a whole new way. or the pain you feel on that last fly/bench/press/etc/ when you force your form to stay good and you work your ass through it.

that kind of pain.

i do not mean that she will injure me or render my body broken and bruised.

so it is a wonderful pain, it's just different from all the other wonderful pains. and, if done right? you get high off your ass. hmmm now that i think about it it's not that different a high from the one you get when you're flying in subspace. not a place i hang out or live but i did visit it once or twice to see what it was like.

if you don't get the last reference i may consider explaining. may.

so, to make a short story long i'm going to see my teacher in ten minutes and i'm really excited but i'm also a little nervous. not in any way that i don't trust her because i totally do. i mean she rebuilt my body, she could ask me to walk naked through a freezing river and back just because and i probably wouldn't even ask why... though i might ask for a towel.

so i *trust* her. i trust her the way i trust a few friends, my immediate family and my cats. i trust her good intentions and her essential good nature. i trust that she will never hurt me on purpose and i trust that whatever the outcome it will be a good one.

it's just that i'm *already* sore you see so i'm a bit worried.

what's interesting is that i have clients myself who trust me like that. who look into my face and ask me private and scary questions about their bodies and trust me to know the answer. clients who will do anything that i tell them without complaining. clients who believe that i will put them back together and free them from disability and pain. clients i can ask ANYTHING and they will tell me the truth (even if it's about sex...)

clients i could make cry with pain who would never for a second doubt my good intentions.

that's an awesome power yo and i only hope that i'm worthy of it.
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okay regarding new york. it looks like so far we have nat, elle, bubbles, me, jenn and that's about it and it further seems that that last weekend of august? the 25-27th is when it will happen. does this jive with everyone? suit everyone's schedule?

does anyone else want in?
is that weekend a deal breaker for anyone who wishes to join us?
does anyone have a 5 bedroom condo they can lend us IN new york?
shall we see a show?
will there be lots of vodka and sushi?
i declare boys invited if any care to join us...

hrm that about sums up new york.
thoughts y'all?
blondie are you coming too?
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mom it's okay that you don't comment, but if you want to write a post send it to me and i'll post it from you. :)
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god damm i love granola, nutella, yogurt and pineapple! :)
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so i'm home and yeah, she killed me. it wasn't that bad really except that she made me shake and tremble and sweat with her magical finger. good lord how does she do that? so i have weakness in my right serratus and homework to help fix it. AND my gluteus medius isn't kicking in and piriformis is taking over and that's what's up with my pelvis. the funny part is just how tiny those exercises are. you're moving an inch and you're dying.

so yeah. back to having homework.

god i feel great and yet?

ow. :)