tagged agin!

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i've noticed that most of the women that comment here insult what they have to say in the middle of it. and the men don't. so although i despise gender generalisation i really have to wonder about this one.

men seem to show up, share their opinions unapologetically AND unchallengingly and then wait to see what everyone else says. the chicks in the room seem to come in, start to tell us their opinions, apologise for them, continue with their opinions and then declare that their previous words make no sense.

dudes what is UP with that?

why do the ladies feel a) that they aren't worthy to comment on my blog (cause WEIRD!) and b) that whatever they have to say isn't actually worth saying?

what's even more interesting to me is that y'all say it anyway but you hide it behind all sorts of apologetic preemptive strikes. i do not get this.

well i do actually. i get it because ten years ago i was all about the dissing whatever i had to say. hell i still catch myself doing it when i'm feeling nervous or insecure. or i'll diss my body. or my way of dealing with people. or my language choices. or whatever.

that said, i fight it every time i do it. if i hear myself saying not so nice things about myself i actually give myself a stern lecture. i'm all 'now sass you know you don't want to talk about yourself that way because you're the only voice you really believe' and then if i've just called myself (for example) stupid i'll add in 'and you know damm well you aren't stupid.'

so i'll give myself a little mini lecture about how i want to talk about myself to myself. and you know what? it really helps you guys. it helps more than i can even articulate.

because for one thing i'm reinforcing the idea that i'm NOT allowed to say mean things about myself and for another i'm topping it off with a nice thing. this has allowed a 200% improvement in my sanity and my self esteem.

so. ladies. (and any man to whom this applies)

your homework for this week is to LISTEN to the things you say to and about yourself. to actually hear the negative bullshit that you're piling onto your own head.

and look, i get that you have your father or your mother or your ex or whomever in your head saying shitty things to you. i get that those voices have trained themselves into your psyche. but seriously? what better day than today to take control of your own head?

and you know what? you will be AMAZED at how much better you feel about yourself in six months.

one more thing. when looking in the mirror you have permission to look long enough to adjust your clothing but the INSTANT you hear that little voice saying 'wow check out those saddlebags' or 'holy back bacon you cow' or 'insert nasty bullshit about your body here' you walk AWAY from the mirror. you're clearly done adjusting your clothing right?

right.

seriously ladies, give it a shot.
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nat tagged me lord love her so here goes:

2 names you go by
sass
ange (anj not an-gee)

2 parts of your heritage
italian
canadian

2 things that scare you
love
death

2 of your everyday essentials
brushing my teeth
chilling with animals

2 things you are wearing right now
my skin


2 favorite bands or musical artists:
xavier rudd
my band on jam night

2 things you want in a relationship
love
laughter

2 truths
i will defintely make mistakes every day
some things really are worth dying for

2 things that appeal to you in a man
wonder
compassion

2 things you want really badly
a vacation
my mother reads this blog, use your imagination :)

2 places you want to go on vacation
thailand
new zealand

2 things you want to do before you die
learn to surf
live and love well and fully (i've used this exact answer on another tag and it remains true)

Two stores where you shop
the super fresh mart. it's like 50 feet away and has all the chocolate.
malabar

and i tag uh... beaus and jenn and matt v