you and i

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yeah i bet that makes no sense as a title. it does make a lot of sense as a thought once i explain what the heck i'm talking about though.

I went (as you know) on a climbing date thingy last evening and it was actually pretty fun. I don't think he's gonna call me and i'm okay with it either way so that's a nice position to be sitting in. But he did this one thing that's really had me thinking all day.

When I tell stories I tend to go something like 'you know how when you're sitting at the bus stop and the bus isn't coming so you light a smoke and then it shows up?' (no i don't smoke anymore it's an example).

And he goes 'no i don't, it's you not me so say i.' well slightly more polite than that but you have to understand the way the conversation was going. and i was a bit flummoxed. It turns out that linguistics and psych and philosophy and awareness and that kinda shit are his bag and he likes to pay attention to that sort of thing. And then I started to notice.

I do it ALL.THE.TIME. Like constantly. I project whatever i'm thinking or feeling on someone else. That's neat shit and requires much thought. I wonder what it says about other things I do without noticing.

Discovering your own habits can be a really fascinating thing. I recall when I quit smoking cigarettes I learned a lot about myself. I really started paying attention to triggers and to when I wanted a cigarette. There were actually a few. Regular habits like 'i'm 8 minutes from where i'm going, time to light a smoke'. Emotional responses like 'my parents are getting tense and about to fight so i'm going outside for a SHIT I QUIT!' Social habits like 'i just ate some great food or had some good sex or... and i need a smoke.'

The thing I notice about smokers is that they never say 'i want a cigarette' they always say 'i need a cigarette.' In fact in the twelve years I smoked I would say that 95% of the time i said need and not want. The words that we choose are so important.

Now I notice when I or people around me use words that are racial or gender slurs. I notice when people assume doctors are hes and nurses are shes... but this one sorta flummoxed me. Much thought is required.
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Okay blogger dudes I'm pissed with you. Flag this blog for objectionable content?!? Make it easier for the religious fundamentalists to spread hate? What the hell would you go and do that for?

Seriously!

Porn is a click away from anywhere, who gives a shit if some blogs are smut. You know, when I was a kid I recall reading books that had sex in them because my parents didn't censor their library and you know what? I just didn't get what it was. Didn't pay it any mind... objectionable content! Hrmph.
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I'm off to summerfolk in the morning so y'all may not hear from me for a few days. I'm stoked, it will be nice to swim in the sound and hit my third great lake of the summer. I'm tempted to drive to Erie just to do a fourth this year... still, missing superior! I can't believe I've never swum in Lake Superior... in fact I'm trying to think of an occasion but i'm failing.
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Ah well, night folks!