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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Friday, August 19, 2005

you and i

yeah i bet that makes no sense as a title. it does make a lot of sense as a thought once i explain what the heck i'm talking about though.

I went (as you know) on a climbing date thingy last evening and it was actually pretty fun. I don't think he's gonna call me and i'm okay with it either way so that's a nice position to be sitting in. But he did this one thing that's really had me thinking all day.

When I tell stories I tend to go something like 'you know how when you're sitting at the bus stop and the bus isn't coming so you light a smoke and then it shows up?' (no i don't smoke anymore it's an example).

And he goes 'no i don't, it's you not me so say i.' well slightly more polite than that but you have to understand the way the conversation was going. and i was a bit flummoxed. It turns out that linguistics and psych and philosophy and awareness and that kinda shit are his bag and he likes to pay attention to that sort of thing. And then I started to notice.

I do it ALL.THE.TIME. Like constantly. I project whatever i'm thinking or feeling on someone else. That's neat shit and requires much thought. I wonder what it says about other things I do without noticing.

Discovering your own habits can be a really fascinating thing. I recall when I quit smoking cigarettes I learned a lot about myself. I really started paying attention to triggers and to when I wanted a cigarette. There were actually a few. Regular habits like 'i'm 8 minutes from where i'm going, time to light a smoke'. Emotional responses like 'my parents are getting tense and about to fight so i'm going outside for a SHIT I QUIT!' Social habits like 'i just ate some great food or had some good sex or... and i need a smoke.'

The thing I notice about smokers is that they never say 'i want a cigarette' they always say 'i need a cigarette.' In fact in the twelve years I smoked I would say that 95% of the time i said need and not want. The words that we choose are so important.

Now I notice when I or people around me use words that are racial or gender slurs. I notice when people assume doctors are hes and nurses are shes... but this one sorta flummoxed me. Much thought is required.

Okay blogger dudes I'm pissed with you. Flag this blog for objectionable content?!? Make it easier for the religious fundamentalists to spread hate? What the hell would you go and do that for?


Porn is a click away from anywhere, who gives a shit if some blogs are smut. You know, when I was a kid I recall reading books that had sex in them because my parents didn't censor their library and you know what? I just didn't get what it was. Didn't pay it any mind... objectionable content! Hrmph.

I'm off to summerfolk in the morning so y'all may not hear from me for a few days. I'm stoked, it will be nice to swim in the sound and hit my third great lake of the summer. I'm tempted to drive to Erie just to do a fourth this year... still, missing superior! I can't believe I've never swum in Lake Superior... in fact I'm trying to think of an occasion but i'm failing.

Ah well, night folks!


Blogger Everything Nice said...

You didn't get flagged, did you?

Now I'm flummoxed.
Which part of your content is objectionable?

Did you get flagged? Now I'm pissed off... want me to kick someones ass for you?

Alright... sorry testosterone over-flux.

As soon as I know how to remove navbar, you will know too.

8/19/2005 09:18:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

we all go flagged darlin' and i'm really feeling objectionable about it. so much so that i might switch blogverses... besides, i say fuck a lot which is (as you know) a TERRIBLE thing.

that said i love all my peeps here so it's a tough one.

hmm... asses to kick... can't think of a single one...

8/19/2005 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger castufari said...

Getting rid of the navbar is easy.

Open your blog, click on the template. Look through the code for:

/header (it won't let me post the < >

(it's down a bit past all of the CSS stuff)

Change it to:

It won't let me post the < >, so be sure to enclose all of the above tags.

Save and republish. No more navbar! :D

8/19/2005 04:05:00 PM  
Blogger Blondie said...

sass, do what you need to do, even if it means moving. just make sure to let us all say no so we can come take over the the rest of the blogosphere with you ;)

have a good weekend, love!

8/19/2005 05:06:00 PM  
Blogger othercat said...

Your comments about your love life might make some people with narrow minds object to the content of your blog. If the rating makes the narrow minded set stay away, then it's alright. I'd say it's to your advantage to avoid them. I wish we could all do that.

Sounds like the rest of us love you, so fuggem.

8/19/2005 10:06:00 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

When I first began chatting online years ago, it drove me nuts to see how people mangled grammar and spelling, me being an editor (former copy editor to boot). I had to learn to let things slide.

I think it's all about context. If I'm relaxing with friends, it doesn't matter if I don't use the King's English in the oh-so-perfect way. You know, I know when I'm supposed to use the proper word, but sometimes I choose not to do it.

If I'm writing a serious opinion piece, I expect myself to be perfect in terms of style, grammar, spelling, etc.

But the way you wrote this, it seemed to me a valid use of the language. Many comedians employ the same technique in telling a joke, because it involves the audience. It makes them a part of the experience. The comedian isn't telling them something, he's sharing a commonality.

You know how some people just have to correct you? Sometimes its so they can feel bigger/better than you.

I'm not saying that's the case here, I'm just saying.

8/20/2005 06:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How did you find out you had been flagged?

8/21/2005 12:16:00 AM  
Blogger whitesgem said...

Im sorry about your flagging- WHY did they do it?
I will be removing my navbar in protest (as R.U. has done) as soon as my daughter wakes up and can assist me...
I hope that you are having a great time on your vacation!

8/21/2005 09:21:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

oh my goodness! talk about using language appropriately. I didn't mean that I had been flagged as evil, only that the flag thingy had also appeared in my navbar and I was basically overwhelmed with disgust to see it there.

so sorry to make you all think that i was on the nasty list!

that said i think i will remove the navbar regardless as i am offended by the flag OPTION!

dzer that is an excellent counterpoint, thanks!

8/21/2005 11:54:00 PM  
Blogger Shaun said...

Removing the navbar is against Blogger's policies (thats what makes Blogger free).

If you do it, you may have your whole blog deleted.

Which is worse, having people flag you as objectionable, and at most getting your blog removed from search, or getting it all deleted??

Why not just pay for your own hosting, then your blog will both look more professional AND be without the flag.

9/10/2005 12:45:00 PM  

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