November 11, 2005

.
today passed with little apparent fanfare but i confess i ended up working through 11am. I meant to take a moment of silence but i had a client at eleven and things were a little odd anyway so i didn't want to propose a minute off.

anyway.

i'm pissed.

i'm pissed that november eleventh is no longer considered a day of rest and remembrance. and it's not because i want another day off (although a day off in november is a great idea) it's because some things should never ever ever be let go.

remembering
.atrocities committed in the name of war
.sacrifices made by people without names
.moments of unremembered heroism
.terror and fear and hardship
.my father and his mother coming *this* close to getting squished by a tank
.on the way to the market yet
.bringing out people's true natures
.my uncle telling pow stories (workcamp?)
.that good people will willingly die to fight evil
.what i would lay down my own life for

we shouldn't forget for a second what those people gave up to make sure that the world stayed free. that we are now working and doing pilates and trying to get to banks and generally not paying attention at eleven am on the eleventh day of the eleventh month?

it makes me want to weep. in fact my eyes are prickling as i sit here typing this.

apparently this year the ceremonies were more well attended then they had been in the past few years. i dearly hope so because the last few ceremonies i've had the luxury of attending have been quite sad in their attendance.

still beautiful though.

i remember when i was a kid we used to have an assembly and people read things and we might see a movie or just get some sort of education about it and then we didn't have school on the eleventh. i would sit at home at 11am all solemn and earnest and do something like listen to the cbc or reflect on the sacrifices that had allowed my existence.

i felt most appropriate participating in ceremonies when i was in the air cadets. i'm sorry i don't have the sass in her uniform pic scanned. must.get.a.scanner. we would gather together and solemnly check each other's poppies and belts and boots before we gathered in ranks to march with the veterans and the bands.

there was something so moving about that. and it wasn't because people were watching me march. it was because i was sharing in this moment of respect and thanks. i got to really say thanks by doing something. it felt... respectful.

i guess i was always an old soul. i thought it was something that i had developed over the years but i don't suppose that it's true.

ironically i finish a day that is rife with solemnity and melancholy in a fantastic mood. i went climbing with s and we ran into her interest and he climbed with us *all* night and at some point mine showed up and displayed pleasure that i was there and there was much smiling across a crowded gym floor.

it was pretty much a great day at the climbing gym all around and on top of the fun with boys the climbing was awesome. i have a new move to work and i've gotten to know more of the 'cool' folks at my gym and i sent my 5.10- like it was a 5.9. My other 5.10- is gone but fair enough, it's old. Still there's a new one and I think if i can figure out the start i can climb it.

maybe.

i really really want to take my lead climbing course.

see that? that's what's wrong with rememberance day now. i just went sideways in a second because i went climbing (and then for beer and food and gossip about boys *lmao*) and had a lovely night. i totally forgot about how today is supposed to be serious.

and that sucks.

it sucks that we don't remember anymore that we should give a shit. because when we don't remember that we *should* give a shit we don't remember why we cared in the first place. and when we forget why we said never again?

well all hell breaks loose doesn't it?