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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

ramble and a tag

.
i got nothin'

nothing i tell you. so this post should rock *grin*

it's also not true, i have lots of stuff i'm just not going to talk about any of it. johnny canuck once told me that the first thing they learn in media school is to treat every microphone like it's live and that in his opinion one should think of one's blog that way.

and in my personal life i'm not too worried about it... well a little, but not too much. but when it comes to my work life you may have noticed that i don't talk about it. i talk about what i do and i occasionally mention my clients by vague description and never without telling them (for serious.)

but when it comes to deep work stuff like politics in whatever gym i'm teaching in that day or niggles with clients or co-workers or whatever that shit just does not come on here. that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.

it happens all the time actually and i just don't talk about it.

i can tell you that i'm actively apartment hunting as of now and that if i can find a place in the next couple of weeks my parents can help me secure the lease... but they leave in a couple of weeks and after that their money won't conveniently be in this country for me to conveniently have it dumped into my account temporarily.

so apartment hunt for sure. i hate apartment hunting, i hate moving out, i love moving in. that's pretty much the gist. i'm dying to move though, the lack of sleep here is kinda killing me.

i have some plans for that place but i'll talk about them later. and if you know what they are? shut the fuck up. oh and pile should be moving in which is perfect cause we already like cook together and stuff and i do seem destined to be a fag hag after all...

seriously i go see MINISTRY and pick up the only gay guy there. i mean it's a gift. it takes a special talent to go see Ministry and pick up the gay man. and i say the because i'm pretty sure there weren't many.

speaking of picking up... nah.

what do you do when your life is going okay and you can't talk about any of the things in it for fear of who is reading?
.

oh man i went climbing today (and tomorrow and wednesday... with two different people) and i ripped a GIANT flapper off the base of my right index finger. i have a tape trick and i just hope it's dry enough to take it by then.
.

and it was. today was a strangely delightful day of climbing, i made some progress on a couple of things and definetely figured out something but i spent the entire day sort of avoiding this one particular piece of skin.

like i sent a problem except i didn't actually technically completely finish it. it's a match on a giant jug and i stuck my right hand on it and then yeah, it said 'drop dead bitch' and there was no way i could put enough weight on this particular hold to actually move my other hand over to meet it.

but i declared it a send and so did my companion. we'll call him... shit. need a nick. anyway there was a kids climb there today and these kids were all 'watch that guy' and they were asking the most amusing questions.

one kid informed me that he knew what was in my chalk bag because he had made chalk in his class. i think what he meant was that they took some sort of really hard chalk chunk and demolished it to make chalk powder. but i lost half of what he said because he turned around to watch someone climb and i let it go.

anyway they wanted to know why the chalk was in a ball and how to use it and how could they get chalk and and and. oh man they were great. as we left the gym one of them called out "how much does chalk cost?"

like ALL they wanted was chalk to play with. some of them were so alive... and already some of them just aren't.

one kid was getting lessons from... oh man i'm using initials, this is ridiculous, crap no. dammit... why is it so hard to make up nick names? i think it's that i get now that they're permanent and that somehow they colour people. okay let's see, cube. and i'm not telling anyone why. shut up it isn't dirty.

okay so one kid was trying to boulder and wanted to know what to climb and how to do it and cube ... no that one sucks. crap. whatever he was showing this kid how to do the problem and where it started and how to make the moves easier. basically he took over coaching from me which was cool cause i start the problem differently now and it's much more organic.

it was just fun watching kids be so excited about doing something.

and then there was this long walk with no destination and food. i guess food is a destination. anyway today was an unexpected day off (after my 9:30 class) and i spent it doing nothing in good company.

which is an excellent way to spend a day off.
.

new meme

it goes like this:
since i asked stoned.nerd do one for me, i have to post it on here.

If you comment on this post [i'm modifying, IF you ask me to do this i will, if you comment on the above whatever]:

1. i’ll respond with something random about you
2. i’ll challenge you to try something
3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you
4. i’ll tell you something i like about you
5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you
8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours


and since i loved his responses here they are with answers to his questions or comments or both...

for my most favourite canadian, Sass (apart from Pamela Anderson)
1. i’ll respond with something random about you
okay i'd do you. *snickkkkker*

*blush*

2. i’ll challenge you to try something
the next time when you're on a date with a dude, ask him straight if he likes you or not. tell him you dont like playing mind games.

oh man nerd, that one's BRUTAL. but okay.

except no. because the thing is when you're getting to know someone you maybe don't want to discuss if you like each other that way or not. you want to get to know each other and see. what's hard is when one of you is doing the old speculate and the other one isn't.

but that's that same one sided spark thingy right?

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you
green! probably due to your photos awhile back...

uh which photos?

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you
you are real. i can feel that even all the way from singapore. you call it as it is. and i think you treasure friendships, or relationships. i like that in a person.

what's funny is that's what i like about you.

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
i think you chanced upon my blog, so i went over and read yours... and you were saying then, that you'd like to try blogging to see how it goes, despite not many people reading you at that time. witness how your blog evolves right now.. thank god you didn't stop writing...

heh, you were the first comment i ever got on my blog AND the first blogger who ever linked me. did you know that? i clicked on your link because you were in recently updated and ANYTHING called stoned nerd had to be good. once there i was hooked and i read your whole archives :)

and thank you, i'm really happy i didn't stop writing too.

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
bear? no offence like, it's just the first thing that comes to my mind...

i'm not offended... just bemused :)

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you
did you fuck your ex the other time you all went out? i missed that. (you dont have to ans if you dont wish to)

no, and he has a girlfriend.

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours
can you do one for me, pretty please? my momma taught me there's never harm in asking.

absolutely, whose blog should i post it on?

38 Comments:

Blogger stoned.nerd said...

i heard my name, and scampered over to say 'hola!'

anyway cheers for doing the meme.

and that bit regarding self-censuring, i feel that too.

if life is a game, and i play it with my cards wide open all the time, i'll always be on the losing side.

7/05/2006 05:07:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

nerd i can't think of a better post to be first on :)

i liked the meme, where do you want your answers?

i don't think we can avoid self censoring whether we like it or not.... we're just admitting it.

you know, that's a great line dude :)

7/05/2006 06:05:00 AM  
Blogger KJ said...

I absolutely hate moving.......getting a new place is always fun but the process sucks

7/05/2006 07:04:00 AM  
Blogger Hubris said...

I too am on the move...
right now I'm looking for a high rise with an indoor pool:)

I don't quite understand your tag but then, it is 7:30am right now. Othercat tonight... stuff. gotta remember the stuff.

7/05/2006 07:41:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

kj: yeah it's the actual moving stuff and the working that sucks. the process of packing and sorting your stuff is kinda fun. course i don't have kids.

it's nice to see what i have and throw out the trash and stuff.


hubris: yeah you're moving huh? if you find a building with 2 bedrooms within 5 minutes of a downtown subway? pass it on!

yay for camera stuff!

7/05/2006 07:51:00 AM  
Blogger Hubris said...

finding them is easy. its securing a reasonable price that sucks the bum

7/05/2006 08:22:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

yeah but you might find my 1400 hundred dollar two bedroom with hardwood floors while looking for you one bedroom for 800 :)

7/05/2006 08:43:00 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

as zeppelin put it ...


ramble on!

:)

7/05/2006 09:25:00 AM  
Blogger da buttah said...

word to the zepplin D!

i am the queen of packing up and moving, if you need anything, let me know :)

i love looking at places, and moving. so exciting...like a fresh start.

like the meme..very interseting haha

7/05/2006 11:20:00 AM  
Blogger RobynB said...

I do the same self censoring thing. There are things I just don't want everyone to know. They probably should know but..eh.

When I moved into my house 10yrs ago, I swore I'd never move again. I've just got toooo much stuff.

7/05/2006 11:44:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

dzer: thanks darlin'


elle: i'm really good at doing all my packing the night before and then throwing shit out at the new place ... so i tend to move all my junk. it's sorta funny really.

does that mean you want me to do the meme for ya?


robyn: well sometimes we have to right? i mean if you don't know who's reading you can't start talking trash about someone you're pissed at.

i don't have that much stuff although you would think i do because my apartment is very small...

7/05/2006 01:52:00 PM  
Blogger Madame X said...

I moved in over 10 years ago and I still haven't upacked certain boxes.
I'm thinking I don't need the stuff.

7/05/2006 03:24:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

You with the rambling inability (or unwillingness) to label that guy... lol. Actually I'm really good at giving nicknames, but you're right -- they do kinda leave an impression. Like calling Nat "Butt" (although it does go both ways) ... I mean, the things people must think when they notice us calling each other that!

Anyway nothing turned into something good. As usual. And I love that meme so I'm asking will you please? Even though it's a little unfair cause you don't know me very well.

PS chalk rocks

7/05/2006 06:05:00 PM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Sass I like this meme

do me! do me! :) pleeeeaaase

:)

word on the censoring, it is sort of a bummer that your source of self expression and inner reflection has to be censored b/c certain people read. :(

7/05/2006 07:40:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sass, you should try the building where my law school buddy and her Irish husband live. High rise, indoor pool (heated in winter), FREE PARKING, next to a park with a tennis court/hockey rink, balconies with views of greenspace, 3 minutes from the subway and they've had very minimal grief there in 6 years. And I think a 2-bedroom is around what you're willing to spend. If you're into it, I can give you the name of the building... and yes, they have vacancies.

Hubris, I can't help ya. Though if you're willing to live in a basement, there's craploads up near me and md.

7/05/2006 07:56:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

moving sucks.

office politics suck. but you are wise not to say more.

self-censoring... inevitable. sometimes i wish i hadn't told some people i know about the blog, because i do feel the need to be careful about what i say about certain things...but maybe it's not such a bad thing to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

for a change.

nice meme...!

7/05/2006 08:11:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

first answer all comments
second memes... so if you're looking for your meme answer it's next comment.

madame: damm girl, i did that with one box that moved from ottawa to toronto to vancouver to heathcote to the farm and back to toronto before i finally unpacked it.


jmai: dude usually it's easy to nickname people but some people are really varied in their interests and desires so it's harder to label them. 'hot climber guy' was pretty easy, that's pretty much all there was to him. i'm having a little fun with it now too.

i love when random nothingness turns into goodness, it's ever unexpected and so fun.

yes, chalk does rock.


hunee: yeah well i think that perhaps that implies that i need to change the interaction with the people i can't talk about. implies anyway.

besides even the censoring lets me think.


PV: YES! that place is perfect! and it has balconies and it's still near UofT for pile.

and yeah they seem really happy there and the kitchen/bath are big enough and their one bedroom living room is big enough so the two should be better.

yes please.

do you know if you have to move yet?

7/05/2006 08:15:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

okay memes
jmai:
1. i’ll respond with something random about you

i love the way you dive in with both feet and without holding back.

2. i’ll challenge you to try something

i challenge you to um... damm this is hard. i challenge you to believe in yourself and take the big risk

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you

pink and no i have no idea why

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you

i like that you're willing to look at the other person's side instead of assuming yours is right.

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

butt!

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of

um. this one is dumb.

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you

was it love at first sight with chulo?

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

and do me!


hunee:
1. i’ll respond with something random about you

you have great boobs

2. i’ll challenge you to try something

this one's hard because you already like acting like a kid. i challenge you to be giddy without adding weight to anything until it weights itself.

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you

purple

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you

that you willingly act like a kid with little or no provocation

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

you commented on another blog with some awesome advice and a really cool nick.

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of

an otter... because you play but you also care for family deeply

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you

um. was it hard giving up meat?

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

do me do me! :)

7/05/2006 08:33:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry i love the building that PV is suggesting and would move there in a second. so that would be nice and i think wherever i move next will stick for a bit.

i'm with ya, i wish i could fail to tell people abuot my blog sometimes.

does that mean you want me to meme you?

7/05/2006 08:34:00 PM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Sass done :) It's on my blog check it out


:)

7/05/2006 09:48:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

hunee: nice!

and thanks :)

7/06/2006 12:40:00 AM  
Blogger Matt Vella said...

Bummer about the pad, but I hope you find someplace that makes you do the snoopydance. I like it when you snoopydance. :)

Great meme!

7/06/2006 12:46:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

oh don't be bummed matt. i look forward to moving, i've lived here too long and i've outgrown this apartment.

though i am sad to leave it.

thanks, i thought it was fun. I can't tell when people mention it if they want me to do them or not...

7/06/2006 01:02:00 AM  
Blogger Matt Vella said...

Do me. And the meme, too. ;)

7/06/2006 01:14:00 AM  
Blogger JMai said...

Oh I love it! I'll have to do responses and post it all on my blog tonight or tomorrow. Thank you!!

7/06/2006 07:45:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

matt: *snerk*


jmai: welcome, fun isn't it?


deb: yeah i guess, but i don't really want to do that. and the times that i find myself not being able to tell my blog things are the times that i find myself being forced to hide the truth. and i don't like it.

so rather than find another blog i would rather solve the problem you know?

even though it's a better plan your way.

and yes, that is just what i love about moving.

does that mean you want me to do you too? :)


matt: 1. i’ll respond with something random about you

i love your willingness to play with your kid like a kid yourself.

2. i’ll challenge you to try something

i challenge you to try thinking like a republican for one day.

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you

orange999999998888888888888888888888888888888888 9h(harriet says hi)

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you

your politics

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

you arrived on my blog out of the blue and promptly handed me just the advice i needed. welcome uncle matt, glad you stayed :)

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of

a bear because i think you would protect your family before anything.

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you

where are my bonbons? *grin*

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

do me do me! *g*

7/06/2006 10:44:00 AM  
Blogger kathi said...

This was great, and I don't usually like lists, but enjoyed it on yours and huneeb.

Gaydar sucks sometimes, huh? I don't get it either.

7/06/2006 11:01:00 AM  
Blogger Ambrrrr said...

I do okay with gaydar, sorry yours is failing. I hate moveing but it's also so fresha nd exciting and being a semi grass is always greener I long to move to where I am not. Now those fantasies come complete with cheap and excellent burly mover men who do everything magically for me.

I don't like self censure. I didn't like having to do it on my blog and so mostly I don't. Oh occassionally I don't put things there because someone may be reading = but mostly I write anything. Of course my own family and no one at work even wants to read my blog so I have like 0 worries about what I say there. Helps being an unassuming persn I guess.

7/06/2006 11:46:00 AM  
Blogger Matt Vella said...

I could be wrong, but when I'm in neighborhoods like Hillcrest or up in SF, the gay guys are well - usually pretty damn good looking. Like, almost unnaturally so.

Maybe that's overriding the gaydar? I dunno.

Thanks for the meme, I'll post yours up at my place. :)

7/06/2006 01:53:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

do me! do me!

and i'll do you! (prolly not 'til tomorrow tho...)

7/06/2006 08:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi - dinner was lovely, thanks for coming over. Mind if I get you to fill out that Meme for moi? Just e-mail it to me, it'll be easier :P Oh, and how about Nour(riture) for the nick?

~pile

7/06/2006 09:42:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

matt: they're hot yeah. it's because they've heard of personal grooming *grin*

and crystal meth *sigh*

nah dude, i know some really hot straight men, i just don't meet too many that make me want to talk for days AND like me that way in return.

i liked it!


terry: deal, at the end of this comment.


pile: dinner WAS lovely, thanks for having me, i am so not emailing it to you :P you get to read it here like everyone else *evil cackle*

hrm that one doesn't suck. :)

7/07/2006 12:23:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry: 1. i’ll respond with something random about you

i love that you have anthony bourdain's phone number AND aren't using it.

2. i’ll challenge you to try something

i challenge you not to allow yourself to say mean things to yourself about any part of yourself for at least ten days.

and that if you do you say 'now terry, you know that talking about yourself that way is terrible for your self esteem'

(crap is that too personal?)

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you

red

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you

your writing style and your optimism.

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

oh man. you were there and around in the comments in my circle and one day i wandered to your profile and loved the name of your blog. it rocks and so does your blog

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of

a porcupine... but your quills aren't as sharp as you think they are.

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you

why do you say you're your own biggest enemy?

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

do me to me! :)


pile: 1. i’ll respond with something random about you

your eyelashes make me swoon with envy

2. i’ll challenge you to try something

i challenge you to ask out the next man you're interested in. and stick to no more than kissing for at least two weeks (nah you'll never make it, one)

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you

it's not a colour it's a sense. that cool/warm thing you do with energy. but if i had to pick a colour it would be hmmm.. rain on lake blue.

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you

your dedication to learning

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

three minutes after i met you in person i told you i loved your eyes.

or that i yakked with one of your references for HALF AN HOUR!

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of

hummingbird

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you

how did you first become an environmentalist/yoga nerd in your not like that at all family?

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

or email me one :)

7/07/2006 12:45:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

johnny: heh. it was a good point you made and when i've forgotten it i've regretted it. and i think think you're right on the money about it.

yay fucking swearing!

yeah i'm dying to move, hopefully i find a place soon! i love my place but i've outgrown it. nope, you can have my new address cause you send AWESOME postcards :)

you have a myspace? *gasp*

:)


1. i’ll respond with something random about you

you actually make nature walks fun.

2. i’ll challenge you to try something

*giggle* buy an outfit that you can't teach in.

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you

green. (d-uh)

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you

your love of thunderstorms!

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

agonizing over whether or not to ask you out, and then letting you read the blog post about it *g*

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of

hrm... penguin

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you

um. really i ask questions if i have them. okay, how long did it take you to get over your lady friends' age?

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

yay for doing a meme of me!

7/07/2006 06:27:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

sass, i love it... and am touched.

why do i say i'm my own worst enemy? because i don't treat myself as well as i should. i don't honor myself. and as you well know, i talk shit about myself.

red. funny. it's my favorite color!
love the porcupine, also. you are, indeed, a perceptive woman.

okay, i do you this weekend!

7/08/2006 01:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay Sass - this one's for you.

1. i'll respond with something random about you

Your different laughs always intrigue me as to what you're really thinking.

2. i'll challenge you to try something

Cardio. At least twice a week for at least half an hour each time. An no, sex doesn't count. ;)

3. i'll pick a color that i associate with you

Earthy brown - the colour of fresh, fertile earth

4. i'll tell you something i like about you

that part of you that has rubbed off on me - that honesty and real-ness

5. i'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

When I called you to get the dimensions for my apartment before moving in, you were at Summerfolk
and were very drunk - and said so quite openly.

6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of

I don't really associate you with an animal

7. i'll ask you something i've always wanted to ask you

What's holding you back, really, from seeing yourself as a fabulous person?

~Pile

p.s. yo ucan find info on LGV here: http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/iyh-vsv/diseases-maladies/lymphogranulom_e.html

7/08/2006 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry: oh good!

i don't know where some of it came from but it seems right for you. i had no idea red was your favourite colour. porcupines are awesome.

i look forward to reading me.


okay pile:
1. how many laughs do i have?
2. oh! oh! damm you. does sex count? *g*
3. nice. so nice.
4. i can't think of better traits to strive for or to share.
5. yes, and i was in a tent smoking weed too...
6. yeah you either honestly
7. i don't know. i got in the habit of not believing in myself when i was told for fifteen years straight how much i sucked... and it's still really really hard not to feel like an egotistical ass when i say that i rock.

or something.

7/09/2006 03:27:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

stoned nerd: you know what i forgot to do???

1. i’ll respond with something random about you

i love how you change your banner all the time, it's always excellent.

2. i’ll challenge you to try something

i challenge you to

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you

white

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you

i like that you came back after you shut down your blog. i suspect it takes more courage to blog where you live and still you're honest. thank you for that.

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you

i saw 'stonednerd' in the recently updated and HAD to click. first totally random blog click i recall doing. and then you LINKED me *grin*

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of

a ferret (i love ferrets, don't be thinking this isn't nice)

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you

i can't, it involves your government.

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours

done done i know :)

7/09/2006 03:41:00 AM  

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