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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Sunday, January 01, 2006

welcome 2006

currently i'm theoretically answering email from a yoga master on okcupid.com. this is me rushing to do that. how am i doing?

yeah well i'm in love with my blog, what can i tell you? and i like multi tasking so while i write in my blog i will also continue instant messaging with the young man on okcupid who i'm pretty sure is thinking i'm easy (he was) and reading post secret and bubblegum meltdown and answering email and and and... [have since finished yoga master's mail and am on to the next one i'm way behind on]

so, it's 2006. the new year. the day where half the people that quit smoking at midnight will start again. the day where people will look back on their actions the night before and swear to change. the day some people will wake up early and not hung over and be proud of the changes they've already made. the day where some folks will wake up at four in the afternoon and not hung over (me!me!me!) with the ringer off, listen to mellow tunes, ignore the door and maybe even ignore the 200 emails in their inboxes... [most of them are just not filed mind you]. the day that some folks wonder who that is in their bed and how they got to this place. the day where others will think yearningly of the one who got away before they will shake their heads and move on with their lives. the day that a lot of people will just keep on keeping on. the day where transit and emergency workers will do heroic things just to help some folks get home. the day that the party hearty crowd will party some more. the day a few folks wish they were climbing. the day a lot of folks will waken'bake.

hrm that sounds like a delightful idea. so does the climbing but the gym is closed and my arms are currently non functional. something about laps at the end of the day yesterday after what was already a hard week of climbing. [however it is all worth it as my shoulders and back are starting to enter the distracting zone... starting to enter but it's coming!]

overall i'm pretty happy with the last year. my career took off and i started paying attention to this blog thing which allowed me to meet a lot of cool folks and in turn inspired several friends to blog thus teaching me more about them. the world didn't end and i notice that i have more money in the bank than i did at this time last year. (in other words a non-negative balance :)

i discovered or was introduced to some fantastic new music. okay off the top of my head james blunt, xavier rudd, cachaito lopez, swing, jack johnson, john butler trio (cast those last two and anthony and the johnsons are burping in my player), modest mouse, madrigaia, ozomatu, sheva, stars, etc...

i got climbing again. which i would elaborate on but y'all already know how happy that makes me. what i will say is that when i went to the gym yesterday i realised that i had done it. i'm in the group. i greet like half the people there and there's a whole other pile that greet me. it's nice, makes it a lot easier to just walk into the place and find a catch if i need one (er belayer) or some bouldering company if i need that. actually i think my vibe changed recently cause suddenly there appears to be some hotties coming out of the woodwork and just choosing to climb with me.

so NOT sucky to walk into a climbing gym and have a gorgeous man with an accent sit down beside me and wonder why he hasn't seen me for a while. not sucky at all. i think he might even be the kind of guy that can carry a conversation over breakfast.

it is amazing to me how important brains are to me. and not just brains but the ability and willingness to use them. i mean if i can look across a breakfast table at you and think 'holy holy shit are you ever pretty' that will get you through the first one but after that?

if you got nothing but the pretty i will be on to my next interest faster than you can blink your lovely eyes at me. if you don't have the pretty but you have the everything else? (such as:) brains, wonder, humour, talent, conversation, nerdyness, originality, adventure, thoughtfulness, consideration, fitness, etc then chances are i'll be into you for a good while.

some of the above plus the pretty? also gets you a while.

but damm y'all when you meet the ones who have it all? who have the pretty and the brains? who can talk to you and hear you and who have interesting thoughts in their heads that they didn't get out of some lame book of the coolest quotes ever? the ones where you think to yourself 'holy christ it's like my little list of perfect things that sum up the imaginary guy i want actually exists' ? [that list doesn't exist by the way... it's a metaphor]

those ones kill me. no kill me.

it doesn't happen often (thank the universe) but once in a very long while i'll meet someone that is so far up my alley it's like they're knocking on my door. the ones who have characteristics that i didn't even know i cared about but are suddenly essential. that say things that resonate in places that noone else has ever come near. that i look at and am blown away by. that demonstrate that men who suit me really do exist. that make it even harder to date because you sort of know that whomever you're dating just won't measure up.

those are the ones that embed themselves inside me and won't leave... and i've never yet had one like me back. well once but i don't know that he ever noticed even though everyone else did. (and i'm pretty sure that walking up to someone and saying 'hey, have you noticed yet that you're gone on me' wouldn't work)

i would just like to know why the universe is teasing me like that. look sass, look what i made *snatch* nope, not for you!

ah well, at least i know that they exist right?

as you can see i am starting the new year the same way i finished the last year. with a post that starts out about one thing and ends up being about something totally else... most likely dating.

hubris says i'm addicted to boys. and he's right. i just don't know that there's anything wrong with that. i do know that i will wholesale adopt nat's back burner theory and that most everyone is going to live back there. i like it because it makes it about them and not about me so i can retain some sanity.

sanity is good. course so is a healthy dose of nuts...

happy new year my friends, may this year bring you everything you need and a couple of things that you think that you want.


Blogger Natalia said...

I don't think you are addicted to them...maybe to how liking them makes you feel. And the thing is, isn't that part of falling for people? The fact that we see reflected in their eyes how wonderful they think we are, so that makes us like ourselves more. We love people not just for who they are but also for how they make us feel. And not just love interests but friends as well. Someone who doesn't appreciate you or brings you down..or worse...puts you down is not likely to remain in your circle... or at least hopefully they won't.

And absolutely...if you are pretty and have no brain...I am so not interested. But we are not the majority it seems. I see so many people I know getting involved with people they consider attractive but have no common ground with or can't have a conversation with. It's mad!

And yaay for the music. I love discovering new music...it's like a gift :) And yaay Jack Johnson. Jmai got me into him....yummy music.

Happy 2006 :)


1/01/2006 07:42:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

hey nat: yeah i do love how i feel when i'm interested in someone. it's like i get inspired to do way more things than i would otherwise do. like i could sit at home but instead i'll run out and do x cause i have all this crazy energy. it makes me feel alive.

when the feeling is mutual (she says from the mists of memory) then you're even more alive because your mutual interest is feeding on itself and giving you both more energy and verve. it's also really awesome when it happens with friends but it's not as powerful.

my circle is much smaller than it once was for that very reason and yet it's a much happier circle.

we are definetely not the majority and what's funny is that i know SO many people who say that they want the brain and yet always end up after the pretty. i *look* at the pretty absolutely but it's not what gets my attention in a real way. i can't comprehend wanting someone only for looks... i mean where's the pheremones and the talking until you fall asleep and the fascination?

yes, new music is a gift and jack johnson is in my stereo right now.

happy 2006 darlin'

1/01/2006 08:01:00 PM  
Blogger Matt Vella said...

Happy 06, Sass. :)

This is me encouraging you to reach out and snatch those guys back from the universe. Better yet, reach out and grab them BEFORE that bitch has a chance to. ;)

1/01/2006 08:52:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

i am bad at snatching. and when i try i always fuck it up.

and it really seems that when a woman goes after a man who is unsure or hasn't noticed or whatever that it never really accomplishes crap anyway. that it scares him away anyway.

feel free to email me the top ten ways that a woman can successfully snatch a man before that bitch gets him *grin* so i have it next time the universe gets dangly :)

happy new year! (no shouting, matt's hung over)

1/01/2006 09:10:00 PM  
Blogger stoned.nerd said...

happy 2006, sass!

great post to start the new year with.

as much as this sounds like ass-kissing (and you have got a great one if i remember correctly), i love reading you!


1/02/2006 12:24:00 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

glad that you ended the year on a high note, darlin'; there definitely was some major, positive good things there ... even if you have to now go blow $150 on shoes. LOL

On behalf of myself and all the Guammy people, thanks for your dedication and love for your blog, because it translates into some good reading for me. Whether you're going deep and serious, or light and funny, or just documenting your day and expressing yourself, it's always a pleasure for me to peruse; I consider it one of my indulgences.

Rock the aught-six, darlin' ... here's hoping it will be surf-tacular to you ;)

1/02/2006 12:34:00 AM  
Blogger Amber said...


Happy New Year. I get the guy thing and I think maybe they never know they're your kind because they can't see what you don't show them. I also know that showing them what they don't want to see is no help at all either. So this year maybe we both should let the boys simmer on the back burner and turn on the ovens to cook ourselves fully before deciding what else is needed in our movable feast?

I was going for a cookie dough thing, but I decide Buffy-isms aren't going to do it. :)

1/02/2006 12:42:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

nerd: right back atcha!

thank you, i didn't realize that this was a great post but i know that i enjoyed writing it!

the part about my ass being great is sort of ass kissing... the part of loving my blog just makes me happy.


dzer: dude it was a great year but scary as hell. and yeah. new shoes... must have new shoes. must have an alignment too hmm...

you are welcome for my love and dedication to my blog, it makes me very happy to do it and helps me figure out my own self.

i love that i'm someone's indulgence. that's awesome!

amber: happy new year yourself! the thing is... i'm sorta baked. i'm done... well obviously i'm not done because i'm 34 not dead but i feel pretty baked. it's time to make some decisions.

i love the cookie dough buffy reference! btvs ROCKS :)

1/02/2006 02:13:00 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Sass -

K, i loved your monologue about the new year, and all the different types of people doing all different types of things to celebrate the first day of 2006.

I had to laugh because I know at least one of each!!!

I think it's alright to be addicted to boys. As long as you keep your back burner theory in full force... you may find... that secretly... there's a boy addicted to you... he's just too chicken shit to step up at this point.

*Que cackling chicken*

Alright, and lastly: sanity is good. course so is a healthy dose of nuts....

dude, you have NO idea how very right you are. Thanks for creating my motto for 2006!!!

I'll send ya a quarter each time I use it :)

1/02/2006 10:40:00 AM  
Blogger JMai said...

So far I think I've only ever found one of those boys, that's easy on the eyes and also that you can just talk to and talk to and talk to and you're always on the same plane... and amazingly, he DID like me back...except I guess we really weren't ever on the same plane because he was engaged! Which of course means bad, terrible me...I'm never that girl... but I almost was with him... and anyway, now I know for a fact that he's single (guess he realised she wasn't the right one) and it's been a healthy 3 or 4 years since I've seen or spoken to him (I only know he's single cause I saw him on match.com and I know for certain it's him --he's got blazing blue eyes). Except even if I knew a proper way to get in touch with him without making it seem like I'm a crazy stalker chick, do I really want to hook up with the pretty-intelligent-humourous-funloving guy who was about to cheat on his fiance with me? Ugh. Boys are addicting but so very, very bad for you. At least all the ones I've encountered so far.

Ok, that was a seriously long paragraph. Anyway, good luck finding the right combo in '06, sass. And if you get a copy of that top-ten list, please do email it to me! I could use a leg up on that bitch.

PS Jack Johnson is completely fucking fantastic, yay that you found him last year!

1/02/2006 12:58:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

bubbles: that's why i did the little monologue... i've since thought of a couple more but none of them are so new year's specific :) and yeah i've read that a couple times and cracked up each time.

i think that the good thing about the back burner theory is that it takes the pressure off me and allows clear thinking. VERY helpful. if THEY want to get off the back burner they can do so.

i think there's at least one unaware boy in my life but i also don't think there's anything i can do about it. hence the happiness regarding the back burner theory. my neighbour says that there's an old cliche that you can't understand something until you have a metaphor for it. THIRTY FOUR years til someone handed me a useful metaphor.


yay i made a motto!!

JMai: i have in my life 2.5 ones that got away. (the .5 is one where the sex was truly amazing but i'm not sure i *liked* him) and the other two are men that could show up at my doorstep tomorrow and i'd be like 'yeah let's give it a shot' [and i've only been with one of them... that did like me back but we were both too shy to deal with it since we were such good friends before we fell into bed together and we were soo young. still wonder how that one is doing :)]

i've been that girl and i'll tell you right now it's a LOT easier on your psyche if you're not her. you feel guilty for a long time. now with yours this is what i want to know, did HE instigate or did you instigate the almost sleeping together thingy? cause if he was fighting it the whole way he at least gets a couple of bonus points.

but only a couple.

i will fully pass on any top ten advice that i get :)

yeah i'm stoked cast sent me JJ's cd (after telling me for AGES to get into him)

1/02/2006 01:32:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

Ummm... he mainly was the instigator, but I helped. I just figured him out so I started wearing the low-cut tops to work...yes, we worked together -hangs head even lower in shame- and I even got disciplined for them! Lol, but he was sorta worth it. Except not, cause ...well, you know. So, no bonus points for blazingblueeyedboy.

1/02/2006 02:03:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

awww dude that sucks that he's an ass. i hate that. i met a man that did that to me once and then found out he was dating a good friend of mine.


1/02/2006 02:18:00 PM  

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