fit

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so i brought my climbing shoes to see rr today. i walk in carrying them and dj is there and she looks at them and goes 'whose shoes are those?'

and i go "mine"

and she goes "no, those can't be yours, they're way too small..." which made me laugh and assure her that yes they were mine. it's the curve, it makes them look smaller then they are.

anyway so later during our session i tell rr that i brought them because i met a guy who is a couple of years older than i am and has been climbing since age twelve. and dude has the most enormous bunious and like fucked up toes. they're cool toes, all long and prehensile but still the overgrown bone was a bit much for me.

and i don't want my feet to do that so let's see what we shall see. and she's like 'can i see one of those?' and i go

"of course" and then i put the other one on while she was looking at it. and she was stunned. she couldn't believe my feet were supposed to do that. so i reached out my toe and i stuck it in a weird corner of a machine and went "it's so we can stick our toes in holes like that and hold on."

i also invited her climbing. told her i would arrange for the good climbers to be there and everything. she might even come. in july [fair enough, she is significantly busier than i and she has a boyfriend to boot]

anyway i learned a new muscle to stretch too. my peroneus brevis is shortening and if that keeps happening you can grow a spur and no fucking way. i wake up in the morning and it feels like the end of my pinky toe (basically the little bump just forward of your ankle on the outside of your foot) is crunched together somehow and it takes a while to walk off.

she blames the shoes and the act of climbing and says 'whatever every sport has inherent injuries' and showed me this cool stretch. dudes it was fucking intense.

like stuff let go and it was super deep and surprising. and when i stood up after it was such a relief i can't even tell you. so i think she found it.

god i hope so.

oh man the looks on their faces when they saw those shoes *laughing*

here, to refresh your memory of what climbing shoes look like:

and because they're pretty.

anyway that was useful and interesting and if you're me? lots of fun.
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i didn't buy any cds today. be proud.
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i'm having dessert for dinner again.

pretzels and nutelly
cadbury flake
belgian orangey dark chocolate
bolthouse farms perfectly protein mmmmmmmmm

what's a nutelly?

i'm not in a very healthy mood lately... but i've been eating a lot of fruit and vegetables anyway so i guess it's okay.
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the other day at the climbing gym hubris and i were eyeing up the candy er climbing and he looks up at me and goes 'dude, you're boy crazy' and i was like 'yeah and?'

because that is so not news to me.

i'm finding it a little wasteful honestly.

i mean it's not like it's particularly accomplishing anything for me after all and lord all that energy could be so well used in other things.

hmmm this particular orangey chocolate is all right. i'm not sure i'm big on the orange peel chunks...

anyway let me just clarify that i don't mean that looking at beautiful people is a waste of time because no way. that is one of life's greatest pleasures and i will never give it up. i don't think boys i'm on dates with approve really... but i point out hot girls too. note to self, stop doing that on dates.

okay so beautiful people are for looking at all the time. funny that everything nice lying on her bed with sun glow on her skin just popped onto my random desktop ... i wonder if i'm allowed to post it here since she put it on her blog before... anyway it's the one where she's lying on her side all nude and you can see a breast and a tattoo. it's really lovely.

anyway, that pretty much sums up the beautiful people are meant for looking at argument right there.

but otherwise? this whole thing i have for boys and wondering if they're dateable? it's a bad thing i think maybe a little.

i mean it's not getting them to like me obviously and it wastes all these brain cycles that could be so much better occupied doing other things and really, why should i care?

like someone smarter than me said recently 'i want someone to take the risk of falling for me for a change'

well okay one person did that, but people who know them agree that we are desperately unsuited.

why am i always the one wondering if someone is dateable? they don't really seem to be wondering that about me after all and really aren't there a zillion better things to do than that? this is where someone lists off all of the things that i do every day and makes fun of me.

okay it's true that i'm certainly not sitting on my couch waiting for someone to knock on my door (currently i'm sitting at the computer actually) and that i am in fact living a busy and active life. but i spend a lot of time at the climbing gym looking at men and wondering about them.

and i do that everywhere.

everywhere and all the time. because hubris is right, i am boy crazy. i fucking love men. they don't love me (well they do... they just don't want to date me) or at least not in the sexual way and yet still.

men are fantastic and alien creatures and i am ever and always interested in them. i love to flirt with them and know them and look at them and smell them. men are a lot of fun to hang out with and frankly all of the women that i like also tend to hang out with men more than women. or at least enjoy traditionally masculine activities or lifestyles.

funny anecdote, i was talking to the beautiful eastern european man a couple of weeks ago and we got to talking about climbing being addictive and i said that that was okay because i was addicted to lots of things like coffee and chocolate and weed and my blog and he goes 'what about sex?' and i laughed and said that i vaguely recalled it being fun but that i didn't really know and he goes 'why not?'

and i said "i don't know, for whatever reason no one ever really asks me out" and he just sort of looked thoughtful. [i get that i've met men on the net but they don't tend to ask for second dates so that's kind of the same thing right?]

can i tell you how much i appreciated him not giving me platitudes? he just accepted it and thought about it instead of instantly saying something easy. i wonder what he eventually concluded...

anyway despite their apparent lack of interest in me i'm just fascinated with boys. i'm fucking boy crazy and what a waste of time that is. seriously what's the use?