thought provoking

this is a piece of a comment that gabriella left on empty vessel.

we all have aspects of our lives where self discipline is not as strong as in others. emotional self discipline is difficult for many people. they think of something they need to do and then permit their thoughts and then the emotions those thoughts elicit to create a fear response which freezes them in their steps. a fear response based on the fantasy of the imagination; not on the reality of an event that has yet to occur.

this is where meditation comes in handy. it teaches us that there are thoughts that can elicit emotions. we can control our thoughts and we can control our emotions especially when they result in somehow truncating our full experience of life. or prevent us realizing our professional plans.

i think the fundamental problem you are having, in general, whether it's about being in a relationship or promoting yourself is fear of rejection. you give way way too much value to what some person may or may not do when you approach them. but there are what, more than 6 billion people on this planet. context is all. if a few of them don't respond favourably, there's lots of others out there.

the problem isn't the public/potential student/potential mate. the problem is the person who invests way too much emotionally in any given encounter so that they involute after not achieving the most positive outcome from a given interaction.

if a person is always considering the devastating effects of a rejection, that person cannot present themselves in a fully positive way to a potential client.


now this is one of those things that you read you know? and then you read it again about a week later. and then you read it a little while later.

and then you go ask a guy out
or you call up a bunch of your old clients
or you go take classes with dianne miller [second generation legendary teacher]
or you decide to GO to the party this weekend that you heard about instead of just thinking about it.
or you just read this one sentence again and again:

there are what, more than 6 billion people on this planet. context is all. if a few of them don't respond favourably, there's lots of others out there.

holy holy shit.

what a freeing sentiment. i mean don't get me wrong, i'm a child of my upbringing, i will still strive for perfection and be unsatisfied with my own accomplishments. i will still worry about 'enough' in all senses of the word (and some you aren't thinking of) ... at least for a while.

but yeah. six billion.

i could embarass myself in front of every single person i ever meet and STILL meet new people every day. i could do anything i want anywhere i want because you know, six billion people.

seriously the more i think about it the more eased i feel. i can't explain it. i've known for a while that you have to make choices based on your inner eighty and eight year olds. they're way smarter than you are because they aren't currently the ones feeling mortified. and neither of them thinks with their nads.

and thinking with 8(0) year old me has helped to free me up from my fears and challenges and expectations for sure. in fact they're usually the ones who decide the important things with me lobbying for something lame in the background. i do have overrule power but they're always right those bitches.

but i hadn't taken into consideration the six billion people. holy hell that's a lot of people.

i can do anything i want and nobody gives a shit. and if they DO give a shit? there's five billion nine hundred and ninety nine million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine more (give or take nine million of them or so) people out there who don't!

wow!

wow!

that's!

*giant sigh*

so freaking liberating i don't have words.

seriously, go read that comment up there again.