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snapshots of an idle mind

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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Ships in the night

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I seem to be in the ships in the night stage of my dating life. I keep meeting men that I find attractive but one thing or another leads to me never seeing them again. Like this guy from work, we'll call him fugitive (for reasons amusing to me and me only), he just got to the stage of flirting that made him worth considering in a serious way [in fact I was planning to engineer coffee the next time I saw him] and he went and got fired. This is nearly mind blowing. He was like everyone's favourite guy, you couldn't have seen this coming if you were psychic. But he did.

Now how am I supposed to find him?

The thing that makes this frustrating is that there was some definite sparkle there. You know where you're more clever than you ever really are just because they're at the other half of the repartee? The sort of feeling you don't get very often?

Don't get me wrong here, I've been interested in several men in the last while as well as a very hot girl. Still, other than a couple of incidents that were brief and explained by aromatherapy [he smelled like my ex husband], or involved said hot girl, or men from far away places I haven't had chemistry with anyone. Like at all.

This one makes me have dirty, dirty, dirty thoughts. Like dirty. And delicious. This is almost unheard of for me. I usually have sexual responses about like a tree when you hug it. Aka nonexistent. So when I get hit with the pheremones I almost don't know how to handle it.

Still, everyone interesting seems to disappear again the second I notice them. It makes me wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something. When I make comments like this to the peanut gallery they tell me that I'm too young to give up, that i'm too young to be this cynical, that i'm whatever. Well either I'm revolting or I'm putting out some kind of vibe that says *damaged* *damaged* *run run run* or the universe is messing with me. I don't think it's the vibe and noone I know will admit that I have said vibe so I've decided to blame the universe.

Not exactly blame.

More like assume that something unexpected is on its way down the road. I hope this won't turn out to be a prophetic statement in a negative way, that would irritate the shit out of me. I keep thinking I'm supposed to be unencumbered so that I can do whatever it is i'm supposed to do. Like I have a Fate or a Destiny or a Task or something. And then I feel like the largest egotistical deluded moron ever.

And then I post it to the internet.

Friday, May 20, 2005

how did this happen?

I have become addicted to a matchmaking website. It started because a friend of mine told me about the virgin test. This site takes random pictures of virgins and non virgins and asks you to tell them apart. I sucked at that test. I did much better on the zombie scenario survival test.

In fact my profile is here:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=15844247531794463240

You can look at it if you're a member. You will note that I have the worst gaydar ever. You will also note that I am an english genius *preen*

I think the most enjoyable part of this thing is looking at your matches once you've done like 1000 of the questions. They're eerily accurate. In fact one of my exes is on there and we're an 81% match. This is made more eerie if you realise that my best match so far is 89%. This guy and I did not end well.

Othercat is in shock, actually so am I. Speaking of othercat, he just got back from a well deserved trip to Ireland. In fact he was gone just long enough for the band and I to notice how much we missed him. It's funny because I'm at his house right now and we're hanging out in the same room and hardly talking. Real friends are like that. All you really need is to be around each other because you've already said so much... but still you can fill up on each other's presence.

Othercat got MORE wind instruments while he was away. Imagine.

I've been reliving the death of Sappho lately because stainsafe has denied my claim. When I bought my bed Sleep Country talked me into getting a warranty good for the life of the bed. If they can't get the stain out you get a new mattress.

Sappho bled a lot. No dude, a LOT.

They're saying that there is way too much damage for it to have happened the way I said it did. So I sent them my vet records. Fuckers want to deny me and make me relive that horrible month? Watch me go.

Off to hang with othercat. Peace y'all.