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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Sunday, November 05, 2006

dot dot

i had the strangest experience today.

i had to do my first aid recert for the ski patrol [read: to keep my certification and some of my jobs] yesterday and my CPR recert today. there were maybe 16 in the group yesterday and i think 11 today.

so we have to watch this dvd and then follow along and practice with it. it's actually much better than listening to someone try to teach you who happens to be more confused than you are. a lot of positive changes to the cpr methodologies this year too.

anyway i whip out my mat and lie down and N (instructor) says "all right but if you start snoring that's it!" and i laugh and the dvd starts and that's it. so then we have to do some practice on the dummies and N says "oh we have to wake her up" and i reply:

"excuse me but i'm hypermobile and it hurts to sit in a chair so i lie down" and this old man across from me joins in.

he says "are you single?"

and i say "of course i am"

and he says "it's no wonder, you're very high maintenance"

seriously? you're allowed to say that kind of shit to people these days? people you've known for a whole day? and the thing is? that's extra cruel from the perspective of a single woman who was hoping to have children and is currently giving it up.

it's like kicking a dog when it's down.

and how is it okay to even say that category of thing to women anymore? if we act like people with actual personalities we're high maintenance but if we don't we're pushovers and clingy. seriously y'all? make up your fucking minds and shut the fuck up about it while you're at it.

i'm making my peace with my total undateableness but why do i have to hear about it from a mean old man?

yes of course i responded. i said something then and then about five minutes later i said "i'm sorry, i know i'm interrupting but i just can't let this go. that was a very hurtful thing you said to me and you have no right to speak to people like that" and he just stared at me oblivious.

so later when he tried to comment on something first aid related to me i said "please don't talk to me, you have nothing to say that i want to hear" and now he looks surprised.

you can insult me and then talk to me like i'm perfectly fine with you? whatever.

this is extra irritating because i got less than two hours of awake to enjoy my happy bliss from last night and then i got stepped on by a mean old man.

stuff doesn't usually hit me that hard but this was like someone ripping off a bandaid with no notice. y'all i'm going to reel from this for a while... and i know gabi will tell me to grow a thicker skin and she's right but well, i haven't done that yet.

bliss you ask?

othercat took me to see the afro-cuban all-stars last night at massey hall and boy. was it fucking awesome.

we're talking about a band that takes the stage and gathers you up and doesn't let you go again until it's an hour later and they tell you to go have a beer and come back.

i actually watched them with my mouth hanging open in shock and my body grooving to the rhythm. it's unfortunate that massey isn't made for dancing or i would have done more of it but i got in a little.

i was... entranced.

they played two sets and an encore but it was a lot more like three sets than anything and there were SO MANY musicians. people who range in age from 13 to 83 came out on stage, everyone from a 23 year old female cuban rapper (clapper) to an 83 year old legendary crooner were singing and grooving for us.

othercat got off the most on the trumpet player but for me it was the drummers. especially the timbale player who was holding it all together. at one point the three drummers were playing together and my hands were going apeshit on my knees along with them.

ahhh good times.

i've seen the trinity pic but i don't have it yet...

it does my outfit justice.

i'm running out of things to say here. i feel like i've gotten most of the things i think about regularly off my chest. i also feel, incidentally, that this blog will go through quiet times and then come back again and that this is a quiet time.

in hockey terms? it's a 'building year' [no idea how long mine is though]

speaking of hockey, i still haven't figured out where to go hang out so i can flirt with mats sundin. don't laugh, i think we'd actually get along well. besides, i like how he leads... and how he thinks before he answers reporters questions.

fine, i just want to meet him so i can fantasize about him. :)

also? i hear he's fucking tall!

that is all [hubris *tm*]


Anonymous stonednerd said...

i'm with you there. it's beyond me to why some people think it is perfectly alright to pass hurtful remarks. more so when they are strangers and they hardly know you from the next person on the street.

in need of a better word here (or maybe not), they are just cunts. and don't let these people, whom you dont give two hoots about, get you down.

you'd enjoy the quiet times - i did. and i realised that, if you love doing something, be it writing or whatever, you'd never give it up, no matter what.


11/06/2006 03:00:00 AM  
Blogger Madame X said...

That man said that to you because you are a woman. He'd never say something like, "Dude you just blew your nose in your hand no wonder you're still single." to a man.
Mostly because it's acceptable for men to be single it is still not acceptable for a woman to be single.
He figured that you being single and a woman you'd need help figuring out why that was so. He actually thought he was helping you and that's why he was shocked when you told him what was what!

It's also acceptable for people to be rude to women in public. Think about it. Do you know how many times I've heard something stupid like, "Smile what have you got to be sad about?!" from some stranger? (usually a man)
I mean WTF?!?
Hello, my life my emotions.

11/06/2006 07:31:00 AM  
Blogger Jim McKee said...

Sass, I don't think you're undateable. I think you're a very strong women, and most men don't want to deal with that. Even the strong men, who *could* deal with it, for the most part would rather be mentally lazy.

All that means is, when you find your match, you will appreciate him that much more.

11/06/2006 10:04:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

Firstly, you do not possess this trait of undateableness that you speak of. What people refer to as being "high maintenance" is just you being assertive and not just taking anything from anyone. And that makes you smart. And it makes you you...and ultimately it makes you happy. Cause you are not going to settle just to be with someone. Also? Loving the extra Sass dots :) And being entranced in bliss *snoopydance*


11/06/2006 10:13:00 AM  
Blogger john said...

Sass! You are not undateable. There is a difference between someone who is not dating and someone who is undateable. Someone who goes on dates every weekend could be completely undateable, which is why they have to go out and date a new person each weekend. Someone who is very dateable may just be selective in his/her dating companions. This may lessen the frequency that the person in question dates, but never the potential dating quality of that person. Of course, it is easy to glibly throw out compliments, so I will take inventory of several highly desireable qualities that you possess as a dateable person:

passionate about work, friends, and enjoying life
physically active
enjoys music, movies, reading, etc
enjoys camping/spending time outdoors
enjoys new experiences in general
can express herself well through writing
enjoys watching sports
enjoys playing video games
uses the word "grok" in everyday conversation

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I wouldn't consider you high maintenance. You are an excellent blend of both feminine and masculine interests and qualities. You can hang stride-for-stride with the guys without ever surrendering what makes you a great gal. Screw what one jerk thinks. Six billion people, right?

11/06/2006 12:29:00 PM  
Blogger Johnny Canuck said...

You are a great date, Sass, and eminently dateable.
This undateable stuff is hogwash.

You will find your fella, or he will find you, just keep the eyes and mind open.

And screw that wrinkly old wiener. Just because you scare him to death doesn't mean he should be able to get to you like that. Wash him out of your hair and go out and enjoy this last warm-wave! Is that a "grow a thicker skin" comment? Maybe, but I do think you shouldn't take his comments so deeply to heart.

Get some ice cream and jump in some leaves.

Very jealous of your Afro-Cuban experience.
They are AMAZING!

Happy November!


11/06/2006 03:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What you high maintenance...not likely! You should have kicked him. If you point him out to me i will.

11/06/2006 03:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ps this is tasha

11/06/2006 03:24:00 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

nothing like an obliviously obnoxious old man to rain on a parade ... and while I don't think you're high maintenance, I would love to take you in regularly for a good tune-up ;)

hmm ... that was a very weak innuendo ... but it remains ... lol

11/06/2006 07:22:00 PM  
Anonymous gabriella said...

no no no. you need to cultivate the 'look of death'.

we can practice. stare the fuckers down. make them wish there was a hole opening up in the firmament into which they can crawl.

or you could get nasty "I see the viagra is giving you some unusual side effects."

11/06/2006 09:11:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

I find that, more and more often, people who do not know you at all find that it's perfectly acceptable to say all sorts of things to you. It's weird.

I'm glad you confronted him, because he should be aware that he can't just go round saying anything to anyone. I'm pretty sure Madame X has it right with the whole single women thing. Men can be so obnoxious and supercilious.

I probably would have let it go the second time if it was a statement related purely to the class, but that's me.

11/06/2006 10:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*laughing at gabriella's comeback line*

i'm so glad you said something to that asshat. and i also agree with MX -- he'd never have said anything offensive to a man.


11/07/2006 12:09:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry: yeah gabi comes up with the best ones...

could you stick this comment on the other blog pretty please? :)

11/07/2006 01:42:00 PM  
Blogger Hemant Kumar said...

hey sass,
seeing your blogs after a long time
and its great to be reading them again... hope you remember me...
I have maintained by pace of blogging and have a few more blogs in the last 7-8 months, that you might wanna read, i guess i have started a new blog since the last time you laid eyes on my page..

I might sound different, than earlier, but with time thoughts change.
regarding this incident with N, if i may give my reading of the situation. There are an insane amount of people in this world and they go through varying experiences in their world and form different opinions. Its human to express shock and outrage when circumstances are not aligned correctly, but then the power is not in your hands. When you get upset, its not because so much because what somebody says to you, its more of what you say to yourself about what that person said to you.
I guess that you got upset so much because somewhere you are not ok with being a single woman who has had to give up the dream of having her own kid. His comment was the trigger for that to come up.

Let me know what you think.

11/09/2007 10:04:00 PM  

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