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Location: toronto, ontario, Canada

Friday, February 10, 2006

you're orange you moron!

.
okay some details to deal with.

one. i'm fine y'all. i'm okay i'm good i'm well i'm even happy.

i love you guys for your offers of condolence, sympathy and most especially peanut butter chocolate ice cream. that's someone who knows that the way into my heart is with chocolate. add peanut butter and damm. happy sass.

anyway i really am good you guys i'm just going to be a little more cautious with the people that i choose to hrm... lay open my heart for. i don't mean that i will go into dates with this cautious and closed minded attitude and i don't mean that i will treat all men as though they are lying assholes.

i simply mean that when i find myself getting crushy i'm going to pull an elle and turn it off. or at least leave it on the back burner until something indicates to me that said man wishes to be on the front burner. which, incidentally, has recently happened.

anyway. the point is that when you leave them on the back burner (hi nat!) then it becomes about them and not about me. i am not expected to participate or give a shit until they choose to either start boiling back there or head onto the front burner and think about simmering.

i am certainly not going to tar all men with the cad brush or assume that they're all liars and assholes or believe that mistreating me is the chosen hobby of the international men's league of women haters.

because it isn't and that would be ridiculous. i know a large pile of phenomenal men. in fact it's what makes it so hard to hate them or distrust them. how can i when i know so many that rock?

it would be silly to assume that just because some men choose to treat me without respect that all men will do so. it would be even sillier to assume that they're all liars. almost as silly as assuming that all women like makeup or hate cars or something.

i love you all for worrying and it warms the cockles of my heart it really does... but i'm okay okay?

(i'm holding you to the peanut butter chocolate ice cream Princess Valium!)
.

so i'm pretty stoked about this weekend. climbing tomorrow with mg and maybe beer with othercat for pre birthday shenanigans practise drinking and then class with rr on saturday morning followed by an afternoon with PV and then mightydoll, hubris, and othercat's birthday party. there will be lots of folks i know and lots of folks to meet which sounds like a great evening to me. sunday is class at noon and then maybe lunch with my doctor friend and uh. you know i have no idea. sunday nights tend to fill up late and i have to be at the clutch/transmission guy at eight am on monday morning.

yes.

you read it right. i *am* getting my new clutch on monday and my own transmission is being rebuilt. i actually prefer this to the buying a rebuilt someone else's tranny. at least i know where mine has been.

it's going to be tight as hell but i think i can swing it and if not i have pre approved financing with a friend for the last couple hundred that i might need. so it's all good.

anyway i'm stoked about my weekend.
.

speaking of weekends here's me climbing at a different gym on a feature i want to transport WHOLE to my gym:

(if anyone has the tools to sharpen and tweak have at it!)[update - thanks all for the help, othercat made the nicest one so here it is]
.

i'm currently having twitchy fingers again. i don't really know why, i have a lot of stuff swirling around in my brain but none of it feels like coming out. well except one thing. it's sort of a funny thing.

lately i've been noticing that my hands look really old. not so much my face and my feet look young but my hands. they're getting old.

so that means the rest of me is too.

harrumph. this pisses me off. if i can move one bone of my spine why can't i reverse the aging process?

shut up i know that's a logical fallacy and i don't care.

and no, i still can't believe that i did that either. even more amazing? i finally found something to help one of my toughest clients.
.

i so don't miss my sunday class. every saturday night when i set my alarm for eleven instead of seven thirty am? so happy.
.

crap, blogger is down for scheduled maintenance (with three whole hours of notice) until one am so what's the point of even writing this since i plan to be in bed by then. ah well. let's see what it's like to write in KEdit. so far i don't like it.
.

do you ever just wish people would be more willing to apologise for things? or say sorry? or excuse me or please? or 'may i' instead of 'give me' or 'now!'?

or maybe let you in at an intersection where they're doing construction? not speed up when they see your signal? not run the yellow so i can't turn left [exceptions for dying clutches until monday]? use a fucking turn signal? wait their turn? wave thank you when you let them in?

think about other people before they act? worry about someone else for a change? notice that they're inconveniencing me at their convenience? say thank you when you do a nice thing? consider before acting? be considerate? hold the door? be aware of their own behaviour?

how about generosity? sincerity? maybe some trust and understanding? a little compassion or empathy? what about some turning the other cheek? being the bigger person? making amends?

look for the funny in a messy situation? not overreact? think before they speak? think before acting? take blessings as they are instead of as an affront?
.

that reminds me. i was driving in north carolina on my way to visit castu and i stopped at a rest stop to pee like an hour outside of his town. and this little old couple were there and we got to chatting. and as we all left the lady looked at me and said 'jesus loves you'. now, i am not a christian. i am not muslim. i am not jewish or buddhist or a satanist or a member of any clan spelled with a k. i am, however; an extremely spiritual human.

and do you know what i heard her say to me?

'blessings of the universe be upon you'

so she used her words instead of mine, she was still blessing me and for me to react in a pissy manner would have diminished both of us. sort of like those women who say 'i can hold my own door' when someone holds the door for them.
.

robert heinlein once said that you could tell a dying civilisation by the loss of common courtesy and filthy public restrooms.

enough said.

32 Comments:

Blogger Matt Vella said...

Don't fret too much about the hands. You're taking good care of yourself, so the rest of you will be fine for some time to come.

DEFINITELY - I wish people would spend less time caught up in themselves and more time being considerate of others.

My theory is that most of modern living is unnatural and therefore creates conditions for us to almost be forced to put up walls between ourselves and others.

2/10/2006 10:19:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

Yeah...what Matt said. :)

I was teaching ethics last night and we got to talking about how we treat others. Whether we respect the old adage "Do unto others..." or whether we stop and ask ourselves "Would I be OK with others making the same decision i am making?" the way Kant would have urged us to. The funny thing is sometimes ethics seems too philosophical to my students but I try to put it in everyday terms and sometimes it is awesome to see it click in their heads. And maybe, just maybe they also learn to be better people as well.

And YAAY for the back burner theory. When I say that to people they seem to think that I mean not paying attention to them od playing hard to get...which is totally not the issue. It's just that when we like someone all of a sudden it's all about THEM and we forget about our lives. And they have not even shown interest. So, I have learned that crushes need to simmer on the back burner as opposed to boil over in the front heat.

It happened to me this month. I thought this guy I met online was great. The old me would have focused a lot of energy on him. The new me would be laughing at the old me cause he has pulled a disappearing act that would make most magicians proud.

So, my back burner is now empty, but never my front one :)

-N

2/10/2006 10:42:00 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Wow, good one Matt, I too believe it is unnatural and creates conditions for us to almost be forced to put up walls between ourselves and others....

and, well the loss of common courtesy indicative of a dying civilization is indeed true, we will end up bludgeoning each other before we realize that we've accomplished nothing but destroying ourselves.

and by ourselves I don't mean the person sitting next to us... I mean

ourselves.

You look awesome at the climbing gym, I see you are getting to a very good place physically (you know I'm all visual sass), and I'm happy to know that you aren't wading in man-hatred because there are some special and truly compassionate ones hiding....out there... somewhere....

I'm fairly certain anyway :)

HAPPY CAR HAPPY CAR!!!

2/10/2006 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

matt: i'm not really fretting it's just weird is all. i'm used to my hands the way they were and now they're different. in fact they look more and more like my dad.

man consideration. imagine if everyone thought about other people before they made a decision.

i like your theory and it makes a lot of sense to me. i try to tear down the walls but it doesn't always work.


nat: heh i wanted to say 'yeah what matt said' too :)

it's funny how right the old cliches like the golden rule turn out to be in our modern society. i think you teaching ethics is awesome, you could totally bring a lot of those kids around to more considerate thinking.

i love your back burner theory nat. it frees you to live your life without worrying about some guy who isn't even concerned about you. course sometimes they shove themselves onto the front burner and then leap shrieking from the stove but...

i don't take online too seriously until i meet them. hard to say what someone is really like from text.

aww your poor back burner :)


bubbles: yeah i'm glad matt found our blogverse.

and yeah bubbles that's just what i'm afraid of myself. never before in history have we had such capacity to wreck the whole world with the push of a button.

it's a scary thought with a religious dictatorship marching through washington. separation of church and state is there so the power stays balanced. this new 'christian governance' thing is a nightmare.

i look awesome? yay! i wish i could sharpen that pic up, i want to see what my shoulders look like. and i note that that shirt doesn't fit me in a potentially embarrassing way.

there's no point hating men em, there's too many excellent ones out there. i don't even hate the people that do me wrong. i wish they would apologise or acknowledge in some way their asinine behaviour... but that will never happen and thus i just quietly lose the occasional imaginary friend

(imaginary because real friends don't treat you like crap)

happy car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2/10/2006 11:33:00 AM  
Blogger terry said...

yaaay, a new clutch! that must be a huge relief.

i may have missed this in the other comments, but did someone suggest you were hating men or preparing to play games? i didn't think that at all, about the whole back-burner thing. i totally get that.

rude people suck. there's just no excuse for rudeness. and no reason people can't apologize when they do something inconsiderate by mistake. it happens.

and DAMN, look at that picture! hottie!

2/10/2006 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

terry: like i can't even put into words. i've been anticipating this repair for a couple of YEARS now.

in my last post when i said i was taking a moratorium on dating the comments implied that i wouldn't date or trust in the men i dated. and i only meant i wasn't going to care for anyone until i knew their hands were out and ready to catch my lil old heart.

rude people totally suck. and you know i'm a ho for an apology. say sorry and i'll forget you ever crossed me... but you gotta acknowledge and apologise.

hee thanks!

2/10/2006 02:01:00 PM  
Blogger Hubris said...

I can safely say that Terry's last comment is absolutely correct. :)

2/10/2006 05:24:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

*blush*

:)

2/10/2006 05:37:00 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Hay Sass WTG with the clutch and the climbing and the perspective. I'm borrowing the back burner theory too, because I can :) Thanks!

If I didn't use it I'd get all swept up in the magical place in my head where I control the world and things happen perfectly. I have an active imagination and give it half the chance and it's run amok with what ifs until I'm convinced how things are whithout even the hint or glimmer of any of it happening in reality. I don't know about everyone - but I think a lot of people I know are projecting so much onto the idea of what could be that the reality of the situation gets compacted under the expectations all that day dreaming creates. We're so busy in the idea we aren't aware of the NOW. AND I'm really needing the now, and taking a breathe and simmering all the possibilities on the backburner there - well it lets me breathe.

Thanks again everyone for the idea.

2/10/2006 05:41:00 PM  
Blogger SignGurl said...

Wow, Sass! That's an awesome action shot! If you look at the foothold behind your ass, you will see that it kinda looks like an alien. Do you see it or do I need to put my tin foil hat back on and shuddup?

Yay for your car! :-)

Your attitude always amazes me. You only seem to allow yourself a moment to think negatively and then the positive always comes back into the light. I wish more people had your outlook on life.

2/10/2006 07:49:00 PM  
Blogger othercat said...

With respect to the "guys are scum" discussion, I always say you shouldn't blame malice when stupidity will cover it. I try to avoid malicious behaviour both in myself, and others, but even I lapse into stupidity sometimes. It's safer to assume that people do stupid things rather than nasty things.

I'm glad you like the picture tweak. It is a cool shot but a lousy photograph to begin with, and sometimes no amount of photoshopping will do much.

Love.... Scum

2/10/2006 08:34:00 PM  
Blogger R. U. Serious said...

You peed for a whole hour in North Carolina?

2/10/2006 09:46:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

amber: borrow on. i thought it was worth sharing or i wouldn't have lifted it from nat's comment and posted about it.

hopefully it helps your sanity level also.

i have such a magical place in my head also. i just also have the ability to bitch slap it. sometimes i look back at things even in hindsight and think that i made the right assumptions at the time. it's hard to know.

i did read on the inglis sign that 'what we see is coloured by what we look for' which makes sense.

i'm really into now actually. why do you need to breathe so much?

sign gurl: it totally looks like an alien. even more in person! it's funny because i'm not really doing anything there. i'm hanging and lookin' at the holds.

my outlook on life came in large part from the shitty things that happened to me. i love my attitude but i'm not sure i would wish those things on people even though i learned so much.


othercat: stupidity is always a good explanation it's true. it's hard to do with smart people but you're right, even they are stupid on occasion.

the tweak is awesome. those photshop magic filters are cool. i'm glad to see it better anyway.

you are so not scum m'dear!


rus: more like 10 minutes of chatting on the way out. :)

2/10/2006 10:39:00 PM  
Blogger Natalia said...

Oh and I forgot. You look like you kick ass on that pic :)

-N

2/11/2006 04:13:00 PM  
Blogger Casually Me said...

Heinlein...I always write nasty things about that bastard everytime I use a public restroom...and private ones come to think of it...

2/11/2006 05:01:00 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Is anybody else having a major crush on Sass right now? NO?

Alright fine.

I do.

K, you're absolutely right there are a lot of wonderful males walking the earth... Most of them don't know they're wonderful and realize that the bad boys get too much play and attention so they convert.

Im not saying this is your case, but what I mean to say is that in my experience (umm tee hee) there have been times that the sweetest most compassionate of men have decided to shuck the good guy image to be a total prick in hopes that he will draw in more women. Unfortunately for him though not only does he not meet the right woman but he forgets to alter his persona back to the first fold after being with his catch.

two things happen then:

he's just a prick.. and now she hates him (because the asshole image only goes so far).

or he's a nice guy, and she realizes that she never knew him from the beginning because now he's a total lay-down.

I guess in that way it evolves back to the fact that guys (and girls) need to just be themselves and speak clear honesty in any forum. If we need to be sarcastic to each other, let's save it for a time in which we can physically show that we're joking.

I think I swayed WAY far to the left on that one.

if we do the above, we clear communication and become more essential and obvious to the other sex as to whether we ARE interested or not. Instead of that fucking guessing thing everybody does these days.

"Do you like me or not? Just answer the question!!!!"

2/11/2006 05:13:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

nat: thanks! i want one of me moving now :)


cas: why do you write nasty things about heinlein? i mean sure his english has gotten a little... quaint but?


bubbles: you have a crush on moi? thanks! :)

i get so sad when i see the nice boys going bad. if they only knew that once girls mature into women they go looking for the nice boys. we have to yearn for assholes when we're young, it's how we learn what to avoid *grin*

i've definetely seen it happen though. sometimes an ass is just an ass. sometimes he's a sweetheart in deep hiding and sometimes he doesn't even know himself which way he'll end up.

i think you're fully right. sarcasm does NOT translate on the internet. you think they know you're kidding and half the time they're convinced that you hate them. i find that humour doesn't translate well into text so i overuse descriptive phrases like *grin* or *smile* or whatever.

it's hard to be honest but it's the most important thing you can do. that way everyone knows what playing field they're on.

but bubbles if he answered the question he would lose a member of his harem and his ego needs that remember?

(cause [say it with me now] he's a dead end guy with gross emotional problems)

*huggs* babe

2/11/2006 08:50:00 PM  
Blogger castufari said...

Is anybody else having a major crush on Sass right now? NO?

I am, though I have for years.

2/11/2006 09:07:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

cast: well you have the advantage of knowing me longer.

and you've met me.

2/12/2006 01:06:00 AM  
Blogger JMai said...

Wow, I have been out of the loop. And it's partly due to new-cat syndrome, partly due to online dating syndrome. Now I'm getting sick just before vacation. Gah!

I love what othercat said and totally agree. Malice is one thing, stupidity is another. Rudeness, however, is in a class all its own and there is very little excuse for it, if any.

Love the photo, and am truly amazed that you can move a single bone. You fucking rock.

2/12/2006 10:10:00 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

HOLY EMOTIONAL NAIL SLAMMIMG BATMAN...

Did you just say that?

LMAO!

but bubbles if he answered the question he would lose a member of his harem and his ego needs that remember?

errr.ummm.holyfuck.

right now, I laugh a lot and just have to say....wow.

yeah, I now am crushing on you.... Chocolate? btw. I added Abigail to my posse, you were right, she totally deserved a spot... but there was only room for 13!!! So, I got a stretch Hummer so I could fit her into the squad.

2/12/2006 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

JM: you're out of the loop? i know you disappeared for a few days but i just figured you were busy. besides the nice thing with blogs is that you can catch up as much as you want.

how's the online dating going these days? and how's CAT???

and yeah... rudeness sucks large donkey balls. at least studpidity is somewhat understandable.

i'm truly amazed that i can do that too dude. trust me there's shock.

thanks!


bubbles: i did just say that. well last evening i said that but it's kinda easy for me to see that behaviour right now since that's what happened to me.

sick how right it is isn't it?

i've been crushing on you for months ladybird so yeah chocolate. and yeah abigail needed adding... that said i CLEARLY need to see that movie.

can we agree to disagree on the hummer? those things are all capitalist gaz guzzling bullshit. how about an old school bus with a massively souped up engine?

or something :)

*huggs* babe, good luck with the flame retardant.

2/12/2006 11:46:00 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

K, I agree on the Hummers and actually I detest them. I'm working like mad to buy one of those old double decker buses from jolly ol' england.

He he.. flame retardant... yeah, remind me to take that with me wouldja?

crushin' on me? crushin on me?

Honestly, I'm rhyming, stealing, and conniving to find a way to NYC just to spend some time with you.

so, ummmm... nail biting anyone?

Yeah, see the movie... it rocks the bad ass hotness.

2/12/2006 11:58:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

em: excellent, glad we're on the same page with the nasty hummers. ohhh double decker bus? so awesome!

dear emma: bring the flame retardant with you.

yes crushing on you. lady if i was going to jump a woman you're in the top five women i can imagine jumping and the rest of them are famous. (okay there's this one bartender...)

yay em's coming to nyc with us!!

i promise to see it. abigail alone will do it for me.

don't bite your nails, it looks unnattractive...

2/12/2006 12:11:00 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

LMAO, I love it when you nag about my nail chewing!!

he hee.. I will take it, I think it would fit nicely in my purse...

Seriously, really want to go... trying to get right with the husband though since he wants to come too!!!

K, yeah Abigail will do ya in... but honestly keep an eye and ear out for Hannibal... I swear if that were a real man in real life... he couldn't shake me with a magnitude 10 earth jolt and a tazer gun!!

*pining*

You know, somebody tagged me a while back to do a top 10 BILF... I didn't do it because I felt feelings would get hurt... you know, harem management and all.

You were absolutely in the top 3. I love the picture though, I keep coming back.

2/12/2006 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

em: t's why i do it :)

flame retardant fits nicely anywhere. you just have to want it to.

why can't hub come too? i mean sure it's all girls going but at the same time boys are welcome... ?

dude i'm not into ryan at ALL but that character? those posters? damm i so wanted to be in a ryan/jessica SANDWICH!

it's the same reason i'll never do a Bilf post. can't bear to hurt that many feelings.

that said? my top 5 is interchangeable. as in you're all tied for FIRST!
:)

2/12/2006 02:03:00 PM  
Blogger da buttah said...

okay. i'm totally slacking on the commenting....

but...i can't seem to do anything but lie and bed and go "oh yea, this is great"...

so...i suck haha

but i do think people have lost all form of social grace wthin the last twenty years. hold a door open for someone and ods are they won't say a damn word......go to a restaurant and odds are no even says a word when the waitor/waitress brings something.

it's crap. even when it comes to acquaintances and friends..that whole intrinsic need for some kind of repsect or genorosity for those things done.

2/12/2006 03:04:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

dude in my personal opinion sleeping or resting or vegging in bed is by far the nicest way to spend a sunday.

in fact when i get done my post i'm going to veg in front of the tv and randomly check my blog every couple hours and maybe even turn the ringer off.

but do you swallow? *g*

yeah i think that when we gave up gender roles we gave up chivalry and then manners went away too. i hold doors for people and expect them to be held on me depending on who gets to the door first. but i'm amazed how few people say thank you.

they act like they expect me to hold the door because i'm supposed to but they don't have to say thanks. it's weird.

i say thanks when the server brings something unless i don't notice. and the better the server the more likely i am to miss that they just dropped something on my table. those ones get FAT tips though.

it's why i try to pay my friends for their work. or barter but discuss the barter. keeps people feeling more equal i think

2/12/2006 03:21:00 PM  
Blogger Earthworm said...

If you don't sleep a lot Sunday, on Monday morning you will wish you had.

2/13/2006 06:57:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

funny you should say that since i'm massively tired right now.

2/13/2006 07:37:00 AM  
Blogger Earthworm said...

I slept a lot this weekend. I am at peace with myself for not wasting good time doing stuff when I could be napping.

2/13/2006 08:22:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

ah there's napping and sleeping and i've been missing the sleep.

this isn't good in a long term way

2/14/2006 12:29:00 AM  

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